Coping (I am Sad) with Abandonment Issues

I probably need to do this.....I know it already. I just need to put it in to practice: Showing gratitude (along with how many other things?) raises the awareness of the good things (which there have been so many) that happen to us. I read once that in a controlled experiment, a researcher at the University of California at Riverside, U.S.A. asked her subjects to keep a "gratitude journal"----a diary of things for which they were grateful. It comes as no surprise that over a period of six weeks, the subjects felt noticeably more satisfied with life......I just need to do this (or at least think along these lines). ... Instead, I dwell on a very sad thought: the loss of a friend...

You know what is funny? (not really)....It's easy to offer advice to others when they are going through something...but so much more difficult to actually apply your own counsel

springrainlily wrote:You know what is funny? (not really)....It's easy to offer advice to others when they are going through something...but so much more difficult to actually apply your own counsel

This is so true.

I'm furious right now, and I know what the books and teachings say to do in this situation, but I'm so angry I can't bring myself to do it.

I may regret anger later (my stupid mouth has at times got me in to trouble), but sadness is a tough one.....especially when you really valued someone and then lose them.... Hope you're doing okay...

What happened with your friend? How did you lose them?

I am way too private a person to explain on these forums (nothing personal), but sometimes I think that I value certain people way more than they realize...

I do that as well. I meet people and instantly become attached to them, and place a high value on their friendship, only to be let down later. I have to learn to realize that not everyone is going to value a relationship with me as much as I do with them. It causes me pain. There are people in my life, that I really really like, and enjoy being around, that probably don't even consider me a friend yet, because I have just met them or they just don't have time for me.

Perhaps you could tell the person assertively how much you value them, and that you are hurt by their absence, or that you will miss their friendship. Maybe it's too late for that, or it wouldn't work in your situation but it's a suggestion

So now I just keep listening to this song (although I prefer hip-hop, as long as the lyrics are not explicit); and I comfort myself in knowing how much I liked this person The Dance - Garth Brooks
from BlueHighways TV (BHTV) PRO 1 year ago

Actually I should have titled my topic "Not Coping"....I really liked this guy...

Lily, I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's certainly not easy; I understand that. I'm glad that you at least know of, and are thinking of a coping method, even if you don't feel like you are at a point where you can put it into practice right now. It at least gives you something else to focus on, and that in itself is good. Coming here and talking about it, like you are, is another method, that you're doing, so good on ya!

Just know that we're here for you, okay?