How do you deal with strong feelings?

Negative ones? Hurt, shame, guilt, fear, anger, frustration. Mainly hurt, I guess.

I tend to get overwhelmed. It feels unbearable. I've been told that I need to allow my feelings, "feel" them rather than suppress them. I've tried that, but it doesn't make them go away. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I shouldn't expect them to go away. Maybe allowing them means accepting them, for however long they want t stay, irrespective of how painful and unbearable they seem.

Suppressing them doesn't work too well either, mainly because I rarely manage to suppress them. Just the act of trying is frustrating and makes me feel worse because I'm so bad at it.

What do you and more importantly, have you found anything that works??

When i get strong negative emotions, i try to channel them into something non destructive. Music helps me, also power walks do. If i feel crippled with emotion and cant go out or move, i try to feel its there and wait it out. They always go away after a while <3

If I'm home, like on the weekends, I sleep. I know, that's totally not a good thing to do. I need to find a better way to deal with it. But music helps. And driving.

Daydreaming.

I immediately enter the "mind set" of a fictional character who is feeling the same pain I am but over something else, usually an unrealistic situation. It immediately calms me down at least enough to stop crying or to let it out in an imaginary lecture/argument another imaginary person.

Example: Earlier I was in tears again over the fact that I can't seem to break up with my boyfriend. I can't live with him. I can't live without him. I'm screwed either way. I thought I was about to die, so within a matter of seconds, I fabricated a fantasy of being this thousands-of-years-old demon-goddess thing who is trapped in a relationship with a sorcerer due to a spell he has her under that physically disables her from leaving or disobeying him, even though in her mind she desperately wants & NEEDS to get away from him. I felt better as soon as I envisioned this character also having supportive godlike humanoid beings who give a f**k.

There's also drugs & having my boyfriend validate me.

I'm pathetic.

Thanks guys. Sleep is good. It's the only thing that actually works for me. Unfortunately, it's not always an option. Maybe it's not that unfortunate, if I could, I'd probably sleep my life away.

I used to daydream tons. I used to do something similar. Day dream, not necessarily of better times but of a better, stronger, more intelligent me. A me, that can deal with her issues and a me that is loved, admired and unconditionally accepted, both by myself and by others. Stupid, huh??

Since I've started taking stimulant medication (I've got ADHD), the day dreaming has reduced. I thought it was blessing since I used to waste hours away in my little dream world and spent as little time in reality as possible. But maybe a bit of day dreaming is good, healthy. It's a coping mechanism for sure but as with everything it's difficult to find the right balance.

Oh god, I was so angry just now, I punched the cupboard door of the staff room at my work. I broke it too and now I feel guilty...

I indulge in self destructive behaviour not very healthy I know so coming on this thread to pick up tips.

Day dreaming I can totally relate to. A lot. Sleep has always been the best way out, so I can relate to that too.

I had a talk with my therapist today. What I took from it is that we need to step outside ourselves. We need to console ourselves the same way we would console our most close loved ones. Imagine yourself listening to a love one express the pain and negative feelings you feel. How would you comfort them? You would hug them. say the words needed to be said. We are so hard on ourselves. We need to be our own best friend. Comfort yourself in the same way you would your most loved one. Then turn to your favorite things. Music, exercise, video games, the internet. Whatever it is. Reason and release, and then distract yourself in what you love the most.

Wish I knew.
I've also heard that you should focus on feeling them, part those feelings and follow what's causing them. But maybe Im doing it wrong then, if Im focusing on them the pain just continues. Pain. And I end up wallowing in it. Even multiply dark feelings with some dark music.

But at least Im now aware of things, and Im not jumping around, constantly doing something to distract myself.

not sure actually.. i tend to write my feelings out if they're overwhelming me..

I write poetry on another site - really helps..


I also try and unpick them.. stay with each feeling for a while and trace the root cause of it..

In general; if i'm feeling overwhelmed it's because something has triggered a deluge of memories..
I need to work through all the memories and then try and deal with the current feeling.


When something bad happens = the bad memory parts of the brain are all triggered because that's where the new bad memory is going to be stored - each bad memory relating to relationships etc is linked to others via axons.. to process and store the new bad memory - the specific area of the brain needs to be lit/activated..


There you go; one aspie account of bad crap.

sorry to be unclear and random.. this is how i understand it but welcome to my world i guess

I don't... they control me... *facepalm*