someone distract me

from myself.

littlearcher wrote:hey sach,
i'm going to suggest you check out: just-for-fun/

and consider locking this thread because it's not really for the bpd forum.....unless you want to talk about how you're feeling or what you need distraction from.

let me know...

thanks

from my antsiness.
i'm sick and bored.
i can't be alone
i have to be talking to someone or near someone.
i'm just having a bad day.
i dont want to read or watch a move
i've cleaned
i would work out but i'm sick
im tired of fighting although it is what i do best ha

you sound annoyed

littlearcher wrote:i'm not annoyed.....just had to communicate in mod mode for a second there.

you said your're having a bad day...want to talk about what happened?

i'm just sick, cough cough sneeze sneeze i hate it

i was also thinking about a past relationship where i completely screwed it up with my bpdness. it was teh perfect casual situation with someone beautiful. i don't understand why i couldn't let it ride and be happy for what it was. i had to complicate things and get obsessive.

it could have been the perfect set up for what i wanted at the time.

he was so good looking, intelligent and great in bed. nice guy, probably fake but whatever, again it was casual and i should have just let it ride.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:37 am --

i either get obsessive or i pull a narc move, where i get the other person all lovey dovey towards me and i vanish.

either way, it never bodes well.

i would like to have a normal relationship where people treat each other well and there isn't so much game playing. i'm afraid i have no idea how to do this.

ooor i make you into a platonic friend, a side kick who gets to hear all about my misadventures.

i always get these great people but it can never last....due to the above two scenarios.

all my guy friends have freaked out on me. if they get a girlfriend, she eventually freaks out on me ( i don't do anything to encourage this, they just are jealous bc they know their bf has a thing for me. i have sat there and endlessly tried to explain the nature of our friendship- aka he's my confidante about all my boy problems. but girls are dumb, or can be).

i have three dates set up this week but i dont' even want to go. the above three scenarios will play out.

the only time it works out is if i control myself but that's IF i want to date for somewhat long term- i have to decide from the get go that's my game plan.

i rarely meet anyone i want to maintain a relationship with...jesus.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:47 am --

i dont' really think about this stuff.

i'm sick though, and bored. i was going to watch seven samurai but it's 3 hours plus long and my attention span is bad today.

i can't work on anything or read anything. it's awful. i met up with a recruitor yesterday to get a better job. i have to scan all this stuff and send it over. i cant' because i'm sick and i don't want to.

i also realised how much fun i had charming the recruitor...

everything seems fake, it's not real. i'm not real. i'm just whoever you want me to be. watch me as i perform.

i'm not even angry i'm jsut bored bored bored.

i have had three massive mood shifts in one day already. woweeeee

i also realised i dont' hate myself. i wonder what will stabilze all this stuff.

can't stay put in anything for too long, i get antsy and i have to go leave change.

everything seems stagnant and boring.

if this was 5 years ago i would be out partying, having a ball but i don't want to do that. partying is about the only thing that makes me happy. i want to find another way to spend my time, which has been hard for me to do.

my dad partied til he was...well, he still parties. he's almost 70. i used to joke that it's in my blood to find a good time.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:54 am --

littlearcher wrote:i bet feeling sick on top of all that doesn't help....especially with your focus when it comes to work stuff.

yea i can't. it bores me right now. i just dont' ahve to energy to get up and scan all thiss stuff down the street.

you should go party and do a lot of drugs sach
you know what's fun?
alcohol

Pink01 wrote:you should go party and do a lot of drugs sach
you know what's fun?
alcohol

duhhhhhhh

alice in wonderland episodic boredom

Pink01 wrote:you should go party and do a lot of drugs sach
you know what's fun?
alcohol

let's do shots of absinthe...weeeeee

I know that feeling too sach.
You can snap out of it if you want, but it requires some perseverance. Choosing right things.

Im just having conversation with a friend, shes got guy trouble, and would love to link this conversation to her (obviously I wont)
We are so alike.

Kiskiskis wrote:I know that feeling too sach.
You can snap out of it if you want, but it requires some perseverance. Choosing right things.

Im just having conversation with a friend, shes got guy trouble, and would love to link this conversation to her (obviously I wont)
We are so alike.

thanks for the support, it's nice to know that you understand...