can people with bpd get better without fancy treatment?

im a 26 year old man with bpd traits, like 7 to be exact and have been diagnosed with them, and i was wondering if a borderline can get better without dbt/or long term impatient. I live in the nyc metro area and there is no free clinic dbt except the one im being reviewed for. I did dbt for a while at a private practice and it was horrendously expensive and my family couldnt afford it after a while. I have friends and have fun and social life, but on my own im in constant tumoil, i have an endless flowing waterfall of ssuicidal, fearful negative thoughts that noone will love me, the ones i love will get sick of me and leave me and ill be alone and die alone. I get hurt so easily and my thinking is very all or nothing. I am on medication and have support at home, but i need to know do we get better if we cant afford fancy treatment outside of what insurance provides? plus i didnt even find dbt to be that helpful and have read that it helps some and not all. I also am not in the mood for any twelve steps cults telling me i need a higher power, i spent 5 years in aa/na and didnt even really get sober untili decided to leave all that insanity and now i have almost two years clean on my own, while my last sponsor isnt even sober any more. i just dont want to lose my relationships and i want to feel normal , havent fekt norma in about 7 years. Im active i workout, socialize have fun but it would be nice tonot hate myself 24/7 and want to die 24/7, if anyone has had any relief without dbt i would love to hear from you. thanks oh yeah i forgot to mention i self harm regularly by punching myself in the face and pulling my hair, and have a tendency to punch objects walls and what not

It entirely depends upon the individual, the severity of symptoms, how much support you have, how much structure is in your life, a huge number of factors. Ultimately, I would suppose that the majority of people with BPD need at least some outside intervention in order to gain a regular level of functioning. Ask your doctor if there are cheaper alternatives to DBT. If your "traits" are milder or confined to specific situations, it definitely makes healing without DBT or an equivalent a lot easier and more plausible, and you could certainly improve your quality of life with other techniques even if you do not see complete healing.

I am in the UK where anything like DBT is very difficult to get hold of. I am mostly working alone. Like you, I have what I would call "traits", 6 or 7, but only a couple which are majorly life-damaging, and these are confined to a specific situation with specific triggers. This means I can mostly "firefight" on the fly using cognitive/mindfulness approaches which I am self-taught in. Self-teaching requires discipline, determination and an awful lot of time. I wish I could be in group therapy, because going it alone is not an easy option. It's important to bear in mind that your reading/learning/application of techniques at home takes commitment.

Over the years, I have seen a vast improvement in myself. I'm very lucky to have started from a point where BPD symptoms were not entirely crippling (I had never been hospitalised or actually attempted to take my life, although the quality of that life was very poor). I have come from barely leaving the house and feeling chronically empty and depressed to functioning reasonably well in society, all through changing my own circumstances, doing a lot of reading and applying myself.

However, this approach did leave the core symptoms (abandonment fear and consequent self harm) behind which created a constant battle both with myself and within my relationship. It has nearly destroyed my relationship on many occasions and if I had the chance to get adequate outside help, I would take it.

So basically my response is- it can help. It wont make your BPD traits go away, but if you're willing to put in the effort it may reduce their influence over you and give you better coping mechanisms, depending on your personality/situation.

Obviously if you do nothing at all, not much is likely to change. Here are a few bits I feel have helped me:

Learning extensively about BPD traits and related problems
Completing DBT exercises using books
Keeping a distraction box in the house
Doing an 8 week mindfulness "course", involving listening to a half hour mindfulness CD every evening and practising meditation
Online CBT (a short course is free)
SSRIs
Supplementation (herbals, fish oils etc)
Good diet
Exercise
Moving away from an unhappy situation (divorce and moving away)
Staying socially active
Confiding in friends/loved ones
Counselling

I have also just started CBT...they offer that for free here for 8 weeks, which is very fortunate.

Hope this helps

thanks for the input ! yeah i am on meds but i want to get off, twelve years meds just give me side effects and no help with symptom relief, i think psych meds are alot more dangerous than doctors let on about. I have been hospitalized quite a few times but not in almost 4 years. Im trying really hard but my mind is a very scary place. I have to remember that not everyone has access to dbt and alot still get by and lead productive lives, the internal suffering can be at times unbearable but im sure people prevail without shelling 300 a week for beahavioral therapy, its not like these greedy clinics would take insurance and help the huge population of people who need help. Im going to keep working on my self, i wish to god i could date, im a good looking guy with a good personality but i have never had a girlfriend because im afraid to show any woman my personal insanity because they will leave me if they see it. I hate being so alone but it's my burden i will not allow a nice girl to fall victim to my neediness or insecure lack of trust. Hopefully i can tame the beast inside of me because i wanna have a full life, im too smart to not be in college and be on disabillity, i would gladly end my own life if i had the inclination that i would be like this forever, i know people have come back from much worse situations and made a life for themself, without three hundred dollar a week therapy, i sure i can too

Keep up that spirit...There are a million things you can try which are not suicide, and some are bound to help. It wont always be like this!

If you identify exactly what you want to change about your thoughts, feelings, behaviours or personal situation, that can help you to start forming an action plan. The more specific the better. When it comes to addressing your issues, outside of your doctor's guidelines, there's always going to be an element of trial and error, but you can help yourself by trying those things which do have scientific backing first, because they are the things that have helped others.

You sound very bright and obviously have a lot going for you. I don't know how old you are but it's very unlikely that it's quits time and you wont be able to find a partner and have everything you want...One step at a time. What are the most immediately painful issues you're facing?

If you like, you could write them out here and we could help you to find ways of coping, or you could work through it alone and see what you come up with.

Do talk to your doctor to see if there are cheaper alternatives. I understand about wanting to get off meds. I hate the side effects too. But as I'm sure you know you have to exercise caution with it so that things don't get worse once you quit.

Also, just because some others are finding some improvement without intensive intervention, it doesn't mean you should. You need what you need, and the moment you feel it's too much alone and you need outside help, you should seek outside help. Nobody should have to bear an enormously heavy burden alone.

thank you so much for the kind words. I am 26 years old, physically active and in very good shape, have friends , well traveled and always up for going out and having fun ,but my mind is constantly active, doesnt shut the hell up. I take lithium, seroquel lamictal and have taken alot of others with no avail, my main problems are
intense fear of abandonment, my best friend im alway afraid that she isnt going to get sick of me and cut me off
severe jealousy problems, i percieve my friends as having everything, jobs, girlfriends, sex lives etc and when i think about it my stomach gets in knots
constant suicidal thoughts, i want to show the world and my friends how much i hate life and myself
self harm, i punch myself in the face in times of crisis and the urge feels too strong to stop
super high sex drive which i relate to having only few sexual experiance' due to my lack of self esteem, i dont mind being horny but masturbating 24/7 and feeling like girls dont like me and im not good enough makes me hate myself more, and have resentments towards gender which makes me upset because i pride myself on certain values
changing my opinions on things constantly, esp politics, i never stay true to my convictions
explosive rage stemmed from self loathing and extreme jealousy
constantly feeling empty and alone even though i have friends who care about me, while i try to not push them away
and last but not least insomnia due to obsessive thinking/worrying/self destructive thoughts
thats kind of it in a nutshell , i would love to hear anyone who can identify

You will forgive me if I don't read through all the posts, but to address the topic title, I do think it is possible. I believe that self-awareness is key to improvement, but the person must really be motivated to do so.

BPD is a personality disorder, which means it's all pervasive. It affects all areas of our lives, especially those that are more severely afflicted.

I have read that many have positive results with DBT, but it takes a massive commitment. Someone once said that borderline is probably one of the more treatable of the cluster B's, and I can see that.