Getting "lost" when alone

Oh, that's nice...A day off! Oh I so need to relax. I could watch that movie I've been wanting to see...bake a cake...get the house cleaned or catch up on my writing or reading. Fantastic. Only...

It's 10.30 and I'm still just drifting around on facebook. In my PJs. In bed. My body is heavy and I feel like I can't move.

Where's the structure? Who is here to help guide me through this? There's nothing I HAVE to do...Things I WANT to do, yes, but no appointments or people are forcing me out of bed. I have to push MYSELF out? Plan my own schedule purely for my own benefit with no outside input? Oh god, too much effort!

Does anybody relate to this? It really is like I'm a child in this regard...I cannot just occupy myself. Occupying myself means doodling or staring blankly at something or at best cruising around forums/blog posts/facebook for a few hours.

I'm so much better than I used to be (at my worst, it was all day, every day for a couple of years, feeling so lonely and depressed I could barely move at all) but man, this is HARD! Something I'm assuming many people find as easy as breathing...spending a bit of time alone and still being productive/functioning well.

Yet for years alone time meant emptiness, meant numbing myself to it, and that habit seems to have stuck despite now feeling so much better than I did.

Does anybody have any tips or advice? Is this BPD-related? I know I have a lot of ADHD-like problems too and I certainly struggle to get started on my projects or keep them going for very long.

If I have somewhere I have to be or a meeting or something I'm fine getting up and getting started. Outside stimulation helps no end. I just can't generate motivation without it without an immense effort.

I get this a lot. I dont know what helps. But there was a time when I feared I'm missing my life because of this.

Now i've realized that it's ok to be in depression at times. i dont have to sing and dance and be productive all the time. At times its ok to be calm and composed to snuggle in the bed and roll the blanket over myself. I'm allowed to relax at times.

Oh my God, I have the same problem. But with me, even NEEDING to do things doesn't help. Important things like paying my rent get put off because I can't get myself to just do stuff. I don't have any advice.

Yep totally 100%!

On a day off I'll make these plans and just end up doing nothing all day. And being confused at the end. It's like my brain checks out and so I can't even complete basic tasks.