I love him so much and I let him down

Yes Reticent, I absolutely love him completely and loyally too and that is why in many ways I have found with him a dream. He loves me with the same depth and need that I love him, so together we have found the same levels of loyalty and devotion that we both have always dreamed of. Life however will have you believing that many don't love like that and so before I met him I was always disappointed in every relationship and didn't feel that anyone had the desire to love with so much depth and need that I had until I met my guy. In this way we are very similar, well to be honest we are very similar in many things.

I understand what you are saying though because I have also tried to wonder if perhaps I was suffering from some co-dependency needs because of how I love but the truth is that is only true with my guy because it's never happened like that before, if anything my past relationships were more independent and I never loved them enough to want to give them my all like I do with my man.

Suddenly I find myself having fallen utterly in love with someone that I feel is the man I've waited for my whole life. Like you I want to spend most of all my time with him and feel that as long as he is there my life is full and I'm not lacking anything. The question I am asking is do I have something that feeds off his BPD in a way that makes us both dependent on one another or is this just because we are better together than apart. Back to the original poster is there a dysfunction between non's and BPD's or are we calibrated differently so as to be able to handle the dysregulation because of our own deficiencies? My counselor told me that I am culturally raised to handle my man because of my upbringing. My mother was also BPD and our lives were lived in a total egg shell roller coaster, so in essence he fell in love with someone who may just be able to help him through and tolerate the ups and downs more so than most as long as he is willing to be consistent and not relapse thinking he is ok.