Stopped taking meds..am I disassociating?

Hi guys, this is my first post..sorry if messed up
Ok so I was diagnosed with Bpd as well as Bipolar 2. Now recently I became sick with the flu and abruptly stopped taking my meds (lamictal and Prozac) for about a week and a half then abruptly started back up again (bad ideas but I couldn't keep anything down so meds were the last things on my mind) Due to the holidays my dr. has been unavailable. The first few days of missing my meds I became manic then really depressed.but now my BPD has come out in full force..I've gone from feeling suicidal to self harming with hot coins. I've been self medicating with weed for the past few days bc it keeps the suicidal thoughts at bay. I've just been in a foggy state. Most of the time I'm aware and present whenever a situation is happening but 10mins later when I think about said event it doesn't feel real and I feel confused as to what actually happened..It's like I'm dissociating memories..is that possible? Currently I'm just in this mental fog as well as an constant sense of confusion on top of the BPD abandonment issues .Has anyone been through this or abruptly stopped taking meds and have a bad mental reaction? Am I disassociating/depersonalizing... or something else? My psych appt is in a few days.. I just feel constantly confused..I mean I can function enough to hold a convo and work but when I think about what just happened or what I'm doing..even now as I type this I am very aware but I'm foggy on when and why I decided and started to post this

I had something similar happen last year when I got the flu and couldn't keep anything down. my moods were definitely off for a few weeks but the did even out again. I didn't tell my doctor at the time, but at my next appointment she scolded me for not calling her when my moods were so off. Does your doctor have anyone on call that you could contact while they are away?

Also, recently I had forgotten all of my meds for a few days and the first day that I started taking them again I got this weird perception thing, like the world just looked "different" or "off." I felt like I was walking around in this dream world. I couldn't quite place it and it seemed almost like a dissociation type thing. When I talked to my therapist about it they checked with my doctor and my doctor said it was because I didn't take my meds for a few days and my body was readjusting.

I hope that things start to even out for you again. Good luck at your doctor's appointment.

Sounds like dissociation to me.

Lamictal is a bad thing to mess around with, so I've heard. So be careful on that.

Yikes! I know that when I stop taking meds it ends badly. Usually a suicide attempt because depression is my major problem. When I stop taking meds its because I either forget or I feel as if I am fine and no longer need them. I take paxil so withdrawal is awful for me. Trying to wean off right now while going on to wellbutrin. Just keep taking your meds and things should even out. If not make sure to report it.

Thanks guys..I think I'm doing better. I have a doc visit in a few days..I'm sure she'll be thrilled when she finds outlet what happened