Can any borderlines relate?

I just want to list out a couple of traits that I have and see if anyone can relate, even if you just say that you can relate to me in such or such, I would just really like some sort of confirmation. Sorry if scattered thought gets in the way of sense.

Thinking MOST people around you are immoral, stupid and ignorant in general. They have an inability to see over people's perceptions and views and accept them truly. I can see right through someone's act, someone's facade. And also people with a sense of entitlement, there are no people I despise and pity more at the same time.

Extremely high and sometimes seemingly (to other people) impossible moral expectations.

Constantly looking for a close friendship/relationship. I feel that I will be truly happy only when I have this with someone.

Massive trust issues so I keep distance at all costs. But sometimes I meet a person and I think immediately they are friendship material and I might unload some personal details very quickly and then the relationship becomes awkward.

Always looking for an escape from reality whether that be gaming, TV series or sometimes books.
Due to this I spend a lot of time on my own and end up alienating friends around me whether that be at school or family.

I will add more later if stuff pops in to my head, thank you for reading if you have done all the way.

I can't relate to all of this but I definitely understand the feelings of always trying to find friendships/relationships and trying to escape from reality. I can relate to those things even though I haven't been officially diagnosed with BPD. I'm here if you want to talk!

doge wrote:I just want to list out a couple of traits that I have and see if anyone can relate, even if you just say that you can relate to me in such or such, I would just really like some sort of confirmation. Sorry if scattered thought gets in the way of sense.

Thinking MOST people around you are immoral, stupid and ignorant in general. They have an inability to see over people's perceptions and views and accept them truly. I can see right through someone's act, someone's facade. And also people with a sense of entitlement, there are no people I despise and pity more at the same time.

Extremely high and sometimes seemingly (to other people) impossible moral expectations.

Constantly looking for a close friendship/relationship. I feel that I will be truly happy only when I have this with someone.

Massive trust issues so I keep distance at all costs. But sometimes I meet a person and I think immediately they are friendship material and I might unload some personal details very quickly and then the relationship becomes awkward.

Always looking for an escape from reality whether that be gaming, TV series or sometimes books.
Due to this I spend a lot of time on my own and end up alienating friends around me whether that be at school or family.

I will add more later if stuff pops in to my head, thank you for reading if you have done all the way.

First part describes my mother to a T. She admittedly has an inflated ego and generally believes almost everyone is as stupid as they come.

I just wanna say, in regards to my view of MOST people, I do give them a chance but as soon that person behaves immorally, or just plain stupid I instantly disregard them and usually don't give them second chances. But I don't openly go around berating people off looks or the very first impressions. The majority of everyday people are out looking only for themselves, disregarding people who seem lesser in some way to themselves whether that be because of class, image, ability.

There are undoubtedly a very small amount of people on planet earth who are good people with a realistic, intelligent outlook on the planet we live in compared to the majority who just bumble on through life not questioning, not critically evaluating and taking everything at face value.

And if you mix this awesome outlook with emotions you get one very depressed, socially anxious 17 year old who constantly screws up relationships because he may think they are going downhill (when they're possibly not) so he has to liven things up through laughter and he ends up becoming some sort of class clown with a twisted sense of humor who is constantly asking himself why am I even trying to make people laugh and win relationships when I don't even like the people.

I wanna see if anyone has this actually. Does anyone act hypo-manic or sometimes like they are completely stoned to make people laugh for attention because they need constant approval that they are liked? That's a big thing for me. It's something I don't really completely understand about myself.

With my family my situation is so similar to yours journeyn2life, my dad and I are very distant because we are very different, and I have a very intense relationship with my mum. Sometimes hate and sometimes love but I guess you could say that for nearly every person on the planet

Oh and thanks for the responses guys, it's nice to be able to relate

I can relate. I'm such a bitter misanthrope. I work hard to be able to get along with people but underneath it all I truly feel like I just hate 99% of them a good deal of the time.

the thing I hate most is that I see people all around me who are struggling with insecurities or problems of their own but the majority of the time they take it out on other people to make themselves feel better instead of actually trying to address the issues that THEY have. I feel like I have been bullied by such people my entire life, starting with my parents from the time I was a helpless child (dad mostly), then children at school...then you get to be an adult and people still do it constantly but they do it passive aggressively because by that point they've become too cowardly to be upfront about it.

RAGE

bateman99 wrote:then you get to be an adult and people still do it constantly but they do it passive aggressively because by that point they've become too cowardly to be upfront about it.

RAGE

Couldn't have put it better. It's just so ######6 true. Cowardliness, injustice, immorality, oppression, spuriousness behavior is a lot of what I see. People lacking capability to look at themselves, their lives, their childhoods and tell themselves: 'the reason I believe or act this way is because I was brought up this way and I don't really have a strong basis to believe or act this way in the first place'. And you know people may think: 'hey you are contradicting yourself, if you realize this then can you not have a more positive view on life?'. Well no, because I came to this conclusion myself, I live in a middle- upper class area, I go to a private school, I have opportunities, I have a family, descent intelligent friends which I know is a giant amount more than what the majority of people have. I am lucky. But under everything is just lies, deceitfulness and taking advantage of peoples and materials.

The massive downside to thinking this is the feelings of loneliness and emptiness. And what are the chances of meeting a fellow misanthrope in real life. And even if you do, you might not even know because they are sometimes so silent. Silent because society views misanthropes as ugly villains. So the misanthrope will shut up and to fight the loneliness they will do what society tells them is the right thing to do: be social, make friends, be positive, suck it up. Yeah that is great but how is that negative pessimistic misanthrope supposed to make friends when they see the wrong in nearly every person.

to be perfectly honest I can't really claim to be exempt from the behavior I hate in other people. I am only human myself and I know I have hurt people before because of my own problems and insecurities. I have succumbed to passive aggressive behavior. etc. etc. the thing I feel sets me apart and somewhat "above" many people is the self-awareness I have; at least I own up to these behaviors and try to be different and better, whereas others seem to be so self-entitled and egocentric and couldn't care less about how they're affecting other people.

I find it especially repellent when people are bully types and focus their attacks on people who are in positions where they can't defend themselves. the mere idea of a parent abusing his/her child is something that sends me into a rage, probably because of my own childhood experiences. that person is causing a trauma in their child that will last a lifetime yet they can't be bothered to make the effort to step back, re-examine, and adjust their own behavior to prevent that from happening. I won't even begin to list all the colorful descriptors I would use for such a person.

What an interesting thread. I hope you don't mind if I put in my 2 cents.

I can relate to a lot of what all of you are saying. I am not officially dx with BPD but definitely have a lot of features.

I have a lot of problems with relating to people. When I want to impress someone, I can also act like the class clown a little, like I have to make jokes a lot and laugh and try to make them laugh. I also use sex to get people attached to me.

I switch between feeling superior and inferior to others. I sometimes see myself as superior to others, like I think I'm smarter, more worldly, etc., almost grandiose, like I'm destined for greatness, and most everyone else is lowly and stupid. But at other times I suddenly get very down on myself and feel like I'm inferior to everyone around me. Then I feel very ashamed of myself and start to think I'm been merely delusional the whole time.

I think I split myself, sometimes I think I'm all good, and its me against the world, other times I think I'm bad and everyone else is good and I've been wrong the whole time.

I also don't feel like I deserve as much as other people. Its really hard for me to accept things, gifts, attention, compliments, other people's generosity and hospitality, etc. It makes me very uncomfortable and I get paranoid, start wondering about the person's true intentions, and I start to worry about what will be expected from me in return, and that maybe I won't be able to deliver, and the person will be disappointed they ever invested anything in me.

I'm really insecure and jealous in relationships. Its hard for me to believe anybody truly loves me or wants me. Partly because deep down I feel I don't really have anything to offer, not as much as others have.

But if the person does end up convincing me they really care for me, then I lose interest in them. I start to think there must be something wrong with that person that they actually like me. I also worry they will change their mind at any moment. This is true of all relationships, with family, friends, and boyfriends, even work colleagues. I also tend to see people as a conquest, and once I've conquered them, I feel I can do better and move on to someone else. This is probably more Narcissistic or Histrionic than Borderline. When I'm feeling superior I can also be condescending to others, and that damages relationships.

Deep down I know I don't really want intimacy or a healthy relationship. I don't feel I am able to connect with someone on that deep a level. I'm incapable of trust and my fears and insecurities cause me to sabotoge all relationships. My fear of getting hurt is more powerful than my desire for true closeness and intimacy I guess. I've learned to be content alone.

bateman
jesus if I came across as if I never do anything wrong then I am sorry that I sounded so superior. I think I got a bit too mad :/ nice to vent it out though

justagirl00 It's a relief to see that another person thinking so alike to me . I relate a lot to you It really really makes me feel happy, although that will be short-lived I guess. Defiantly feeling inferior and superior to people. Definitely hard for me to accept any sort of emotional, materialistic or physical compliment, gift etc. I feel it's always for themselves in some way and you know what. I'd say 80 per cent of the time my paranoid assumptions or theories are right.

My fear of getting hurt is more powerful than my desire for true closeness and intimacy I guess

Can I ask, is the reason your fear of getting hurt larger to true closeness and intimacy because you have been hurt to many a time? I am interested because I'd say at the moment I am about level with both. I am scared of relationships and seriously wanting one at the same time because my fear of rejection is so damn great. I feel my 'funny' personality can break down some of the initial awkward barriers of the making friends with someone but the thing with comedy is that it isn't really going to get people to truly like you for you. I feel comfortable being funny because it's a safe way to stay far away from someone without getting too intimate or close.

That action of dumping things or people when they admit to loving or liking you is so similar as well. It's probably the thing I hate most about myself

-- Mon Jan 06, 2014 9:07 pm --

justagirl00 It's a relief to see that another person thinking so alike to me . I relate a lot to you It really really makes me feel happy, although that will be short-lived I guess. Defiantly feeling inferior and superior to people. Definitely hard for me to accept any sort of emotional, materialistic or physical compliment, gift etc. I feel it's always for themselves in some way and you know what. I'd say 80 per cent of the time my paranoid assumptions or theories are right.

My fear of getting hurt is more powerful than my desire for true closeness and intimacy I guess

Can I ask, is the reason your fear of getting hurt larger to true closeness and intimacy because you have been hurt to many a time? I am interested because I'd say at the moment I am about level with both. I am scared of relationships and seriously wanting one at the same time because my fear of rejection is so damn great. I feel my 'funny' personality can break down some of the initial awkward barriers of the making friends with someone but the thing with comedy is that it isn't really going to get people to truly like you for you. I feel comfortable being funny because it's a safe way to stay far away from someone without getting too intimate or close.

That action of dumping things or people when they admit to loving or liking you is so similar as well. It's probably the thing I hate most about myself