Hi everyone!

Hey all,
I'm new here. Been lurking a bit as a guest and then realized I like the sense of community that seems to be around. I figured it'd be best to start off with an introduction before diving into posting in other threads and such.

I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder; it's been about five months now, though some of this has been ongoing for years. It's really tough not to make it a personal identity.

I'm in a bit of a tough patch right now, as I'll be moving soon, and I just had to end therapy with the counselor who diagnosed me last night...I lamented how I feel I'm currently "textbook Borderline" and everything feels like a whirlwind. In the meanwhile, I'm holding onto my creative outlets (writing, drawing) as much as possible so I don't drown in the sea of impulsivity. It's hard, but I'm trying.

So yeah, that's me....and it's good to be here.
Wolfy

Hi Wolfie *waves*

I'm pretty new too. It has been awesome so far to read things said and felt by other people that are so familiar to me. I'm not with a counselor or any groups at the moment so I felt very alone and adrift. Being here is grounding and comforting.

Welcome

xx red

welcome to the group

redsky wrote:Hi Wolfie *waves*

I'm pretty new too. It has been awesome so far to read things said and felt by other people that are so familiar to me. I'm not with a counselor or any groups at the moment so I felt very alone and adrift. Being here is grounding and comforting.

Welcome

xx red

Heya Red! *waves back*

I feel the same; it's good to be in a place where people "get it" having been there, themselves.

littlearcher wrote:welcome to the forum, wolfesque!

sorry to hear that you've had in a rough patch right now and also that you are struggling with personalizing the diagnosis. i did something similar for a while after my diagnosis.

i think for many of us here, the time after diagnosis is a very vulnerable one so it's important to be really gentle with yourself.

sending you hugs <3

Many thanks, LittleArcher! *hugs* I definitely needed the reminder to be gentle with myself right about now. It's good to know I'm not alone in trying to make sense of this.

After "all this time" some people think I should be making leaps and bounds towards getting better - at least, that's what I've interpreted (When I was first diagnosed, I was showing about 8 out of 9 of the DSM-IV criteria) and now I'm showing all 9 in some aspects so it's like...eh...

monkey66 wrote:welcome to the group

Thanks much, Monkey!

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Your post made me smile. Just because you identify with the symptoms it doesn't mean you will make it an identity don't fear that. As you learn more though you will find that you may be preoccupied as you figure things out.

There are a lot of helpful people here. Hope you find what you need.

whenlmeetsm wrote:Hi and welcome to the forum.

Your post made me smile. Just because you identify with the symptoms it doesn't mean you will make it an identity don't fear that. As you learn more though you will find that you may be preoccupied as you figure things out.

There are a lot of helpful people here. Hope you find what you need.

Haha, thank you.

I think that idea that it's an identity thing (outside of having an unstable outlook on my own identity) comes from class discussion back when I was in college. In my Abnormal Psychology course, a lot of the personality disorders just felt like they could be easily sucked into making it one's identity. It's easy to say "I am Borderline" rather than "I have Borderline", if that makes sense.

So I've noticed. I'm not sure what all I 'need' right now, but having a place to talk about some of this stuff is nice. Another forum I'm on would probably never allow me to detail some of this stuff and discuss it openly, and I've been there for six+ years (it's practically my internet home)!

littlearcher wrote:i'm sorry that some people are thinking that 5 months is "all this time" and that your bpd will be turned around so quickly.

i can say that the first several months after my diagnosis were particularly challenging for me as i had to contend with all of this new information, telling my family etc etc....

again, please be gentle with yourself...i really do believe that healing is more of a journey than a destination and it can take some time and sometimes things get harder before they get easier.

are you currently in therapy?

Yeah...I mean, that's how it feels, at least. But my understanding is that Borderline itself doesn't start really getting better until after a year in treatment. Yeah, I've had good days and bad days (and went a whole two months without my forms of self-injury!) but I've done all that before and beyond that in time prior to my diagnosis...It's an issue.

Mhmm. The information itself isn't particularly new to me (As I mentioned, I took an Abnormal Psychology course - I hold my Bachelor's degree in Psychology/Counseling) but it's new to me in being applied specifically to me, if that makes sense. The family is relatively supportive as are friends, though those closest to me admit that they just don't understand. Hah, that's okay, I don't really, either...

Thank you...I'm trying. It's really hard when I'm impulsively giving into whatever whim catches me in the moment, though. I know what I struggle with isn't as 'out there' as other people, but at the same time, it cripples me all the same.

No I'm not. I just had to end therapy this past week... I'm moving (being kicked out...) so I'm going to have to find a new counselor in the area I'm going. The best my (now former) counselor could offer me was that she knew there would be more BPD/DBT resources there, so I'm at least somewhat hopeful in that regard. Still, I don't do change well, and all of this messes with my trust issues.

I just wanted to come by and say how very pleased I am with this forum right about now! (Without starting a new thread...heh.) I've really been able to open up concerning my struggles here and have been met with encouragement and had the opportunity to encourage, as well. Though it's only been a week, and part of me feels highly unstable with where I'm at...I feel safe...and connected, here. Many thanks!

~Wolfy