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Toxic friend?

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Toxic friend?

Postby HuiYaMing » Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:40 am

I made a friend a week ago, the day I met her she asked me to go town with her. I felt accepted straight away, then I realized why. She's the type of person I'd hang with and get in to trouble with. I don't like it, it's umcomfortable for me. I don't know how to cut her off.
She wants to be best friends, she's always asking me for food, drinks, etc.. or just takes them off me (I am weird about sharing..it's germs and such).

She moans all the time about the ex who isn't the father to her baby. He's with someone else now, and havin a baby. So she co-erced me in to texting him to talk to her.. then I get phone calls of his girlfriend. I apologized to her and I told her I did it because I was asked and I know if it was me I'd be pissed too.
She understood and we said nothing more, but it's not the point!
WHY AM I DOING THIS?!
How do I cut this leech off me?
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Re: Toxic friend?

Postby pockets » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:24 pm

Cutting people out of my life is incredibly easy for me, but only if I have a shallow relationship with them. If I'm not the person "in control" of the friendship, I would do anything for their approval and acceptance. If I am in control, they are easily disposable (although I do feel guilty about it).

Do you feel like you are in control? Do you feel like she's controlling you?

My advice...put yourself first. She seems like she may have some problems, as she has dumped some responsibilities on you when you have only known each other for a short time. You are right, she is toxic.

Let her down easily. Stop responding to her attempts to contact you. Let the friendship die naturally. She should eventually back off and find someone else to take care of her dirty business. Toxic people tend to bounce around rapidly, looking for new people to leech off of.

Good luck!
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Re: Toxic friend?

Postby HuiYaMing » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:42 pm

She is definately toxic, I am not in control. If I say no to going out with her, she suggests going mine.. I say no and she takes offence and goes off on one. She constantly talks about the same $#%^ over and over again and drags me in to her twisted world. All I want is a quite life with my Husband and daughter, no drama. But she just brings it in to my life.
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Re: Toxic friend?

Postby wineaux » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:44 pm

the easiest way is to be honest with her. dear blank, i'm sorry but i don't think we can continue our friendship. i feel like the choices i am making with you are not good for my mental health and that it would be best if we went our separate ways. i wish you the best. signed, huiyaming. then delete/block all contact from her. change your number if you need to...

Dx: PDNOS, ADHD, MDD, ED (recovering)

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