two different personalities

Hi, i have been diagnosed as bp type2 for about 3 years but i think my situation is worse than being just a bipolar. And at the moment i have no pdoc available. is it possible that i also have BPD?
I feel like i am 2 different persons who are always in contradiction. Except having manic and depression episodes i love things that disgust me in another time. Like sometimes i love romantic sex and hate wild pervi sex sometimes i love wild and hate romance, sometimes i love girls sometimes they disgust me (sexually ) i hate my hubby or i love him, i love to study or i hate to study, i love my look or i hate my look , i love to go to africa and sacrifice my life for poor people or i am the most selfish person in the world. and i can't understand when i turn to the other one. so i start things and feel disgused and everytime i am 100% sure that i am choosing by my heart.
Everyone including me think that i am a liar, because i constantly change what i say, this make people crazy and i really really really don't know who i am or what i want, i never had a goal in my life more than a few weeks.
are these like BPD symptoms? I am a mess and i need help, thanks

*raises hand slowly*

i was dx'd mdnos before i went to pdnos, and YES, i have very similar traits as you do...and i'm completely spinning right now and going to yet another emergency therapy appt to get to the bottom of this self sabotaging.

may i ask why you don't have a pdoc? i have spending a lot of time here just reading other people's stories and having them respond to mine really help. there are several books out there that are applicable to your behavior but unless you read them and do the work, they can't help (this is what i do!)

are you triggered by anything when you start to feel these things?

wineaux

It is possible to have the dx of both bipolar and BPD. I have those diagnoses myself. black and white thinking is just one portion of bpd so there would have to be other things going on to receive the diagnosis. It may be a good thing to talk to your therapist about if you have one.

Yes when people answer your post it is really helpful thanks i want to be bipolar because my dad is and it is an excuse for all my failurs. I can accept being a bipolar and BPD both.
The most important problem of me now is i can't distinguish the truth. Am i telling the truth? Am i just fabricate interesting things to influence me or others? I don't know anymore. Who i am, what i like. I don't know.
I stay all day everyday in bed. I am not depressed just feel no reason to get up. And there is no motivation because i don't care about anything
I used to think about suicide a lot, my mind was full of visualization of every single moment of my suicide but i never did any attempt. And i never self harmed. The most self sabotaging thing that i do is intentionally i don't drink water, to hirt my skin and i really don't know why i do this