alter egos?

I fall into different roles around different people subconsciously. Sometimes I'm a total narcissist. Sometimes I play meek. Dont even do it on purpose. Anyone else do this?

yeah

it's either crying baby or superman type ego. i've realized that both are faulty. when i get the narcissitic feeling, i consciously calm down, make the effort to calm down

and when i'm humble i make sure no one's taking undue advantage of me by making me do his share of work

identify the places/times/people in front of whom you behave in either way.

jaus tail wrote:yeah

it's either crying baby or superman type ego. i've realized that both are faulty. when i get the narcissitic feeling, i consciously calm down, make the effort to calm down

and when i'm humble i make sure no one's taking undue advantage of me by making me do his share of work

identify the places/times/people in front of whom you behave in either way.

hmm....well, if I'm around narcissistic females, I automatically fake passivity...until they piss me off I go humble when I sense that's what the other person needs from me. same with the super charismatic persona- i get that way around shy people who need someone to bring them out of their shell. I think the only people I can ever really be my whole self around are men with narcissistic personality disorder....but they piss me off haha.

I was like you, i'd be passive in front of strong people and charismatic in front of shy folks. i've realized i would put either face for others. i dont do that anymore. it was very unhealthy for me.

i've realized that people in front of whom i become passive, well i dont have to be best friends with them. they maybe stronger than me and its ok, its ok but i dont have to be passive in front of them. if someone was talented(dancer, singer), i'd be passive there as well and be 'wow he's so cool.'

i dont now. i applaud him if he's a friend but other than that i'm always indifferent to someone stronger than me. dont have to be passive now. be indifferent to them

about bringing people out of their shell. first i've realized its none of my concern, i'd help a friend if he asks but if he doesnt ask, i dont volunteer my help. i used to hate when people would reprimand me for being introvert and unsocial. so it aint ur responsibility to bring people out of their shells unless they tell you, nor do you have to be passive just to please others.

Exactly Jaus Tail

Being disengenuous (sp?) always backfires and I feel bad about myself and beat myself up
on and on and on...

Strengthening my identity is an ongoing process. There are people I choose to stay away from
if I feel I can't be myself around them.

I choose to be around people who are healthy and I feel safe expressing myself authentically
or a choose to be alone.

i do act like a baby or a punitive parent with my husband because he is the closest one to me.

I am going out more with friends and separating myself from him when I get into that mode.

I swore blind I didn't do this, but it has been (nicely) pointed out to me that I do. I even have whole different wardrobes for different personae (activity Barbie, professional Barbie, casual Barbie ). It would explain why I don't like it when different areas of my life overlap; if my friends met my work colleagues, I literally would not know how to behave in front of them- work way or friends way.

Before anybody says it, none of this is conscious, manipulative behaviour. I'm just getting wise to it now.

Yes....I have an alter ego....she is really nasty and mean compared to my usual angelic self.

I think this is common for a lot of people and not just a BPD thing. I have always had different types of relationships and different ways that I act in different situations and social circles. It is definitely difficult when those circles mix.

everyone is different in front of different people. if you get angry at your friend, you'd point out, if its your boss, you'll politely point out, if its your partner you'll let it go. with bpd, its just more intense
and we're unable to behave when different groups overlap.