Age of onset? Or...?

I was officially diagnosed at 17 but i remember having BPD type behaviours as young as 7. I was a very angry child i used to have fits of rage where i would lash out at other children and then i would cry and cry and i'd hit myself. Actually tried to kill a couple of kids. Started cutting around 11 or 12. A few suicide attempts as well although only a couple of them were serious enough to have killed me.
God that felt like a rant lol please don't think i'm bad or attention seeking i just had to get that out and this forum seems like the safest place to do it because i don't know anyone and they don't know me.

But for those of you who had these behaviors pretty strongly throughout your teen years and didn't say, did you find that they definitely increased around your 20s?

I mean in hindsight I definitely always acted borderline, as a preteen I even did have breakdowns and they had to pull me from school over them, but my teen years were pretty quiet, and consistently submissive, passive, whatever. Just the breakdowns seem to have just started and in a much worse way at a certain point which dragged everything else to hell.

Thank you so much everyone for sharing... I am reading all the replies and it really helps to hear other people have similar experiences of any kind.

Puberty is when hell started to happen for me lol. I developed anorexia nervosa purging type at 12 and was forced into recovery. Recovery made me develop trichotillomania. I started cutting and I overdosed occasionally. I was forced onto antidepressents to stop the purging and I gained 75lbs. I started smoking weed heavily at 15. At 16, I realized that I was fat, cut the ads cold turkey, lost 30lbs and attempted suicide. I ended up in a child and adolescent psych ward for a few weeks.

I had a very good senior year despite it all and won a few scholarships.

First year, hell again. Slept around. Bulimia x1000. Tried to hang myself in my dorm room shower and had to give up a scholarship to transfer to a school closer to home. Once I came home, I was in and out of the emergency department for overdoses, hangings after breakups etc. Since I had freshly turned 18, they pounced on me with the borderline diagnosis. Finally, in April, I met a guy online an he left me. I tried to jump in front of the subway, and was psychotic. yea I had the cops called on me for being violent. I had 6 inpatient hospitalizations and am now on ODSP. I'm still 18 lol. Somehow, I'm still in university doing decently.

anothernight wrote:Puberty is when hell started to happen for me lol.

same here. I was withdrawn and melancholy as a child but generally ok. puberty is when all hell broke loose lol. I started becoming more depressive, self-esteem issues, weirdly possessive of people and jealous of my best friend developing friendships with other people and boys. then when I got into my first tumultuous relationship in high school it became very apparent that I had some issues to deal with.

Mine looking back started around 11/12ish, wasn't diagnosed until about 29, had other diagnoses but none fit until that diagnosis

Bloody Mary wrote: If I can't fight my insanity, I might as well enjoy it as much as I can.

Hopefully you'll get through these difficult times and find more happiness.

I have a very difficult time putting my feelings into words, text, but please don't take this wrong in anyway but I LOVE YOUR LAST LINE!

Having been recently diagnosed myself, now 47, I can relate much to what you wrote and then THAT LINE put a big smile on my face.

I can relate so much and it sounds like something Charlie Sheen would say.

vertices wrote:But for those of you who had these behaviors pretty strongly throughout your teen years and didn't say, did you find that they definitely increased around your 20s?

Nope. For me, they evened out more in my 20's, though I definitely still have BPD issues and was even rediagnosed with BPD in my 20's.

Definitely full onset no earlier than 14 but no later than 17. If that is indeed what I am, everything is up in the air right now.

My onset was 13-14, maybe even middle school.. I had mood issues as a child. I would throw horrible tantrums even at 3yrs. I have a mother who acted like this too so who knows..