Do some bpds never forgive?

One of the diagnosed ones in my life seems to never after being triggered, they cut people that they have been friends with for years out of their life. They told me that they feel relieved after the stress is gone, relieved that they arnt in their life before and doesnt ever talk about them or seem to have any fond memories I guess. I mean surely most people would at least miss someone? This guy seems to black out all the positive aspects of former friendships to not care ? Im talking about really close freindships here.

I think maybe he is really extreme along the spectrum compared to people here.
Thanks.

I know I have the ability to do this. It is definitely blacking people out and seeing only their faults.

I can easily cut most people off completely, but it usually has nothing to do with forgiveness or not forgiving, for me. It really just is the simple fact that my life is easier, and I am healthier, happier and more productive the less close relationships I have. Whether a relationship is good or bad, there comes a point where I CANNOT bring myself to leave it. Even when the cons clearly outweigh the pros. Sometimes I cut the person loose before it can get to that point. So when I think of them, I feel nostalgia and fear. But no anger. No grudge.

Though I must say I CAN be unforgiving if I feel I was wronged. Sometimes I have even resorted to seeking out reasons to be angry/offended enough to disown a person. This is when I get dangerously close to too close and I have to FORCE the person away. In those cases, yeah, I feel I can't "forgive", or I'll end up liking them again and getting too attached. I'm extremely bitter about those individuals and what they've "done" to me. Even after years.

-- Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:42 pm --

I can easily cut most people off completely, but it usually has nothing to do with forgiveness or not forgiving, for me. It really just is the simple fact that my life is easier, and I am healthier, happier and more productive the less close relationships I have. Whether a relationship is good or bad, there comes a point where I CANNOT bring myself to leave it. Even when the cons clearly outweigh the pros. Sometimes I cut the person loose before it can get to that point. So when I think of them, I feel nostalgia and fear. But no anger. No grudge.

Though I must say I CAN be unforgiving if I feel I was wronged. Sometimes I have even resorted to seeking out reasons to be angry/offended enough to disown a person. This is when I get dangerously close to too close and I have to FORCE the person away. In those cases, yeah, I feel I can't "forgive", or I'll end up liking them again and getting too attached. I'm extremely bitter about those individuals and what they've "done" to me. Even after years.

sure, but then are some that do. it's really about the gravity of the situation and how black/white the bpd is.

Yes, if I cut someone off it's because I believe they have wronged me and no I will never be able to see their side of it. It's not that I don't care that I may have played a role in our relationship/friendship going south I just can't imagine what it was that I did that was wrong. I have been told by people close to me that I have said and done some very mean and insesitive things but I honestly don't remember doing/saying these things.

So it's more for me just being unable to see where I was wrong and I soley focus on how they were at fault. So it's very hard for me to ever 'forgive' someone or accept them back into my life again.

I think I have some BPD traits and I have cut people out of my life with barely a backward glance.

It's not about forgiving/not forgiving for me though - it's more about "you no longer interest me and you are now dull". Although I accept that this may be a subconscious attempt to dress up lack of forgiveness in the clothes of boredom.

Generally, once you are out in the cold you are out in the cold. But that is not an absolute rule - family and very close friends may be able to get back in.

I find it very difficult to forgive someone who has wronged e, but it is possible if it's someone i really care about. I recently cut a friend out of my life because of something she said that was very personally offensive to me. I know it wasn't actually directed at me but it hurt and she'd been p*****g me off for a while and i'd put all my energy into letting it go because she was my friend.

I have done it before. Once or twice, I have felt relieved, but in those cases, even non's have said that it was a good decision to make, so I will attribute those to good judgment rather than BPD. For the few other times, I won't say it didn't hurt; it did, and in most cases, it still does. Then again, I tend to blame myself for everything, so that likely factors in, here.