fights between punitive parent and abandoned child

how to resolve the fights between punitive parent and abandoned kid

how to stop the kid from crying to strangers/acquantances and how to convince the parent that crying in front of close friends is allowed

any tips

I get what you are saying. For Borderlines usually these two parts of us are in the foreground.

As I work on myself both are in the background rather than the foreground.

I am bringing forth a nurturing and caring and mature parent when my abandoned child needs
attention rather than a punishing one.

I ask, "What do you need little Monkey?" Etc...

And to name the emotion that is behind these constructs that are dominating me. Usually it is fear.

I name that fear and usually the lonely child and punishing parent disappear. And I breathe. Let
go of the control.

That's what I do. There are so many paths to deal with these "lifetraps" of the Borderline.

its the instability that is so tiring. one moment i'm one person and then suddenly my perception changes and then back to square one. i've realized how difficult i must be for others. but feel comfortable here.

when i was new to bpd, i thought it must be the poor brother of mpd or dissociative personality disorder but now i've realized that bpd is exhausting