I can't stand myself!

I've struggled with reckless behavior, self hatred-the list goes on-for as long as I can remember.

I've been on meds and in therapy for years now and I feel like I'm getting worse.I've been falling back on my self destructive coping tendencies more and more these days. The cutting, the heavy drinking, starving myself. All a short fix, all making me feel even worse about myself.

I worry that I will be a chaotic mess for the rest of my life.

Has anyone here been able to come out on the other side of this?

It does get better

Hugs to you

Thanks for the hugs and encouragement. It's nice to know there may be light at the end of this tunnel for me.

i'm in the same boat, can you hand me a paddle? it's cyclical...are you experiencing certain triggers that are causing you to self-medicate/harm? i'm really sorry you are going through this. i hope it changes for you soon. i'm waiting for that magical day when i can use the healthy coping mechanisms instead of the destructive ones. it's like i know what they are, but my impulse control is like NIL.