Dealing with other Adult Children-Codependency and Schemas

I have two friends who are my "level" in child-likeness and childishness. For ages 45, 52 and 70 replace these figures with ages 18, 18 and 23.

I feel conflicted.

S. is probably a genius. She is self made and has honor. These are her negative schemas:

-overtly critical of others grooming and appearance
-critical and judgemental of the character flaws of others
-angry all the time-
-the intelligence is "in your face" -the ONE UPMANSHIP

For S, I remind her of her disorganized manic depressive mother and she reminds me of my critical Victorian mother.
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For G. is more like me and her IQ is nearer to mine. She's got a gentle heart and she can be a giver. She can be empathic. She has dyslexia and I have dyscalculia.


Our shared faults are manipulation, passive aggressiveness, lack of mutual respect. We are both emotional vampires living in desperation. My biggest faults are cowardice, lack of honor and extreme inconsistency.

----- I am splitting on these two big-time because

-------- I don't like to be *alone.*

------ I am empathic to that place of feral pain --that place where cissex identifying females have had their hearts broken and feel unloved and overcome by the world--powerless, especially beta females such as myself, although S. is alpha, I think.

------- I know how that lack of executive function makes keeping track of bills difficult, etc.


I spot a lot of emeshment, codependency and possible projection. The sheer pain of all three of us is a lot.

Boundaries. Honesty. Responsiblity. Ugh.