Radical Acceptance

"The curious paradox is, when I can accept myself just as I am, than I can change."

I am reading a book called "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach. I just started but it
is already calming me, helping me have more acceptance for myself and to consciously
tune into who I am authentically, rather than be controlled by this disorder, which I
call my False Self.

I know I can be swayed by others' opinions, of course I am hyper-sensitive to criticism, I
can be motivated by wanting others' to like me rather than coming from a place of truth
within me, I can allow dominant men into my life who are intellectual and charming and
are a catalyst for my creative side to come out instead of me bringing my gifts out within
me. I know I can live in fear a lot. It's fear of dying, fear of living without knowing who I
am, fears I am not aware of. I know I can be reactive without thinking about it because
I think I'm being judged. I can also dish it out and not take it sometimes. Despite all of my
imperfections, I can accept myself, the dark and the light, all of me, just as I am. From this
place of acceptance and non resistance, I give myself a chance to breathe and to stop running.

I am truly tired of the self-hatred. At this time of my life I hate it that I love my husband and
don't love my husband, I hate my not thinking before I act, I hate that I feel inadaquate and not
comfortable with myself half the time. I hate how needy I can be. But this self-hatred and beating myself up has only made my life worse and has caused me to make self-destructive decisions.

So I am willing to release the self-hatred, to accept the uncomfortable emotions and release them out of my body. I deserve this. I deserve peace.

That book sounds awesome. I have the same sort of problem with my husband, but I just surf through the emotions and realize that the feelings will pass. Overall, I realize that he and I both have problems/disabilities and that we will get through the day.

Yes. Some of my marital problems are intimacy issues due to my disorder.

And some of them stem from me having a problem with my attraction to him. (he is bi. long story)
And turned off by his feminine mannerisms. It's ambivalent. Sometimes I desire him. But there is
a very real sexual disconnect.

Oy Vey!

I'm a big fan of radical acceptance and Marsha Linehan... Here's a link to some free stuff: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/radical ... _text.html A lot of you are probably already in or have done dbt work ...but this is good stuff for anyone not.

Radical acceptance is a very important DBT skill to learn as well as (in my opinions) one of the most difficult ones to apply/accept.

I may have to check out that book you're reading. It sounds interesting!

The book is based on Buddhism.

It gets better and better. So validating and true.

Let me know what you think

Carol