Telling my story: Help?

Hi all!
I'm a filmmaker/scriptwriter and long time lurker here. I've always been too anxious to post anything, so I'm sorry if I'm out of line with any of this. I'm looking for help.

Last week, after years of cowardly procrastination and half-hearted attempts, I was finally ready to tackle the subject of BPD in my work and began to write what I had hoped would be a feature-length autobiographical script. I've had a moderately successful career in the industry and now have enough saved up to fund my own work (while the product will by no means be a wide release, I have no doubt it will reach large audiences).

Even though I've been more or less stable for some time, looking back at the past was not easy. Filing through the memories I can piece together of the darkest times in my life resurrected the same fear and shame that had haunted me before my "recovery".

I have now reached the point where I can't keep going without risking my well-being, but can't move on without the closure of completing this film.

The other thing is I want this film to educate audiences, raise awareness, and fight the stigma on mental health. But I know my experience with BPD may not be at all like someone else's. I want to speak out for those of us sharing this label, but how can I avoid leaving viewers with skewed or limited understanding of BPD with just one person's story? (for example: if I mention attempting suicide or self-harm, won't audiences just assume this is true for anyone with BPD?)

Has anyone dealt with anything similar? A blog, or book, perhaps?
Perhaps collaborating with someone else might help to distance myself from making this too personal? Or including elements from someone else's experiences? Fabricating the plot altogether?
Are there some aspects of BPD you think I MUST touch on, or others I've got to be more careful with?
Would anyone be interested in helping out, proofreading, or giving some feedback?

Anyway, I hope this hasn't been too long. Any input would be really appreciated.

I will tell a story about what I have found and discovered while on break from this forum. I joined another forum that had nothing to do with mental health and it was during the time Jodi Arias was on trial and people were trying to diagnose her and obviously bpd came up.

What I found was that it was easy to bash people with bpd, until I mentioned that I had bpd. Then those people who were critical shut the f**k up. Part of the reason I mentioned it is that I believe there are ways that someone with bpd can function more appropriately with someone who doesn't, and the other reason was I wanted to see how I'd react if I was attacked. It was more of test for myself. What I learned was they didn't want to attack me, but they were curious and wanted to learn more so they could understand and I was never made to feel alienated from the forum

Unfortunately, because of the stigma attached to bpd and mental health in general what people learn are from those that have had bad experiences with someone who has bpd. Those with bpd can't speak up out of fear for being alienated or rejected. I believe if we could it might potentially help the healing process of being accepted.

I think your script needs to discuss how borderline pd is developed and in most, if not all, cases it's from some sort of childhood trauma. I think it also needs to be explained that there is NOT just one trauma that is applicable to all of us. What was traumatic for me in childhood may not be considered traumatic to someone else and vice versa.

I also think there is a sense that we all act the same, which is not true. Just because we're borderline does not mean we all act in the sameway. My triggers are applicable to me and may or may not trigger another individual with bpd, just like theirs may not trigger me.

I think the traits/symptoms of bpd need to be explained with examples. A trait by itself means nothing. What is important is how the trait manifests.

I think it should be made clear that they're are new treatments for bpd that didn't exist in the past 15 years such as dbt, mbt, schema etc.

Last I think the rage needs to be explained. We don't rage just for the helluva it. Often beneath the rage is a fear which triggers the rage. The fear being we're in jeopardy of losing something/someone or real/imagined abandonment. I think this is EXTREMELY important to emphasize or explain.

Rather than show people being difficult or a$$holes focus on ones who have made progress in coping with bpd in order to show that it is possible.

Hope this helps
-cbox

Hi deadpixel!

I'm a filmmaker too (also with a diagnosis of BPD) and have been in the process of starting to write a screenplay that deals with a lot of mental health issues in quite a broad way. I too found myself really struggling to write about issues that felt very personal, knowing that they are issues that affect a lot of people! I'm really passionate about the need for more honest, sympathetic mental health cinema so it's a lot of pressure to write under


If you fancied chatting about it sometime, or if there's anything I can do to help, feel free to drop me a PM