How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Echinacea wrote:@star dust
your welcome , and yes ofc i understand,
that rage that feeling of lost control wanting to isolate for safety of others and yourself, been there, know exactly what your feeling. and its an horrible draining feeling 0-60 in secs is so frustrating.

I didnt turn to alcohol thankfully, i couldnt afford it for one ....but i seriously could have done that too tbh.
ive always been very stubborn and told myself "nope dont go down that path" and thankfully i didnt.


try not go down that path to often ok, you can do this without too in time

Im glad your back down from raging now, good for you

I tell you what i did buy though- i bough myself a vaping machine
(i quit smoking 8 years ago next week)

and i feel my raging has got worse since i quit (no proof its that but i do believe so)
I haven't been in any raging situations yet to test it out ..but i will let you know if i can prove it


take care of yourself and i am here and check the site when i can
i have a lot on atm but im still here for you all

Stay strong

I’m trying. I’m trying so hard. I’m sorry every time I come on here I just feel like I whine.
Must be annoying. I have been considering buying a vape machine and you’re the second person to say it this week, I really want to also give up smoking. So I think I will finally invest in a good quality one with some nice liquids. I’ve been meaning to for so long.
And congrats, 8 years smoke free is an amazing achievement!
Maybe I will be able to say that one day. It’s jsut the only thing I have right now so I feel like I can’t part with it. It’s keeping me alive haha

I know l want a cuddle from my partner. I feel sad and my gead feels jumbled. I hate having BPD because it automatically takes over and you don't know where you are with your feelings which then plays havic wih your thoughts causing anxiety.

Feeling like crap again. I should have had my period now as well but nope, just PMS and cramps. Yay! Also note to self: Don't freaking dye your hair on an impulse after a breakup.

Back on the forum after almost 4 years. Coming to terms with the fact that I am mad. Feeling like an alien. A bag of $#%^. Damned to solitude. Alone, lonely, amids so many people. I cannot feel them. I just can't feel them. I am just too weird for anybody. Feeling $#%^.

And congrats, 8 years smoke free is an amazing achievement!

thanks . yea it was worth the effort definitely...

Youll get there when the time is right for you stardust

This thread is exactly for us to use, if you feel like raging, screaming ,whining then so be
ive had a moan here and there too. thats what its for

jokes aside though, no you dont get on my nerves

I'm so empty I don't even exist. Yet filled with rage due to the emptiness and that other people are filled. They have personalities and I don't. Yeah I have fragments of different personalities but not one whole one. Wish someone would help me but don't even know what kind of help I need (besides therapy, that's only an hour weekly break from this hellish existence).

Right now, I feel awful. Worse than awful.

I don't feel as bad as I did an hour ago. Then, I was inconsolable and crying in the bath. I've never hated myself more and that's saying something.

I was supposed to attend a gender identity clinic appointment this afternoon, but I can no longer feasibly travel from my home city to the location of the clinic.

The last four years, I have been openly out as a transgender man, but have come to realize that my gender dysphoria may actually be caused by my bpd. Every few years, my self image changes in some way and I'm getting sick and tired of it.

I want to feel normal. I want to wake up and look in the mirror, to finally connect with the person looking back at me...but I can't, and this has haunted me since aged 4.

I was diagnosed with BPD 4-5 years ago when I was 19/20, but I was never given much support once I received my diagnosis. So much has happened in my life since then, a lot of it bad. Luckily, I've found someone who completely accepts me, just as I am and I couldn't be more thankful.

I guess I'm just feeling like I can't do anything right, you know? I feel like I'm a burden to anyone and everyone.

Please, tell me somebody can relate?

scharah wrote:I'm so empty I don't even exist. Yet filled with rage due to the emptiness and that other people are filled. They have personalities and I don't. Yeah I have fragments of different personalities but not one whole one. Wish someone would help me but don't even know what kind of help I need (besides therapy, that's only an hour weekly break from this hellish existence).

Ugh, I relate to this so much. I feel like I could handle the mood swings, the pain and the instability if only I knew who I am. Sending many hugs your way, Scharah. <3

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I'm stressed! So much to do and so little time and yet I'm here on my computer, lol. I'm having menstrual cramps from hell too - great effing timing!

I've met someone who shares my avoidant diagnosis today, I was kinda excited to meet him, I expected a big instant connexion between us but he didn't even look at me, say hi or good bye, totally focused on my colleague. I mean, I know I am invisible and insignificant, that's how I need things to be, but damn, my ego hurts. Fortunately I was in a good mood today.

^i have avoidant traits but i don't like other avoidants i think they trigger me because they are distant even more to be distant myself or get angry with them than someone who is "clingy" might feel easier to be with that person

-- Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:14 pm --

Although i do feel bigger connection with introverts because they can understand me.