How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

seductive

madjoe wrote:seductive

lucky you

drunk

Free, but goddamned nervous.

Lonely, but not wanting company, either.

Hungry, but nothing sounds good.

Yeah....I feel like I don't want to feel anything...the usual.

Echinacea wrote:

madjoe wrote:seductive

lucky you

Lucky you

madjoe wrote:Lucky you

Echinacea wrote:@witches
You hit on something here

I just can't expose her to my craziness

my ex said the exact thing too...but he started little bits at a time over the last 8 months and you know ...the more he explains the more i understand. i dont think of him as a bad person like i did, i dont even look as the mother in law as a bad person anymore but...this has to be right for you
Understanding is all imo if people dont know, how can you/they/we be understood?

ofc this isnt a push, but just food for thought really..i know all to well the defense mechanism, but i also understand self sabotage too

Do things slowly, jumping from one to the other is how i did it too I couldnt cope will that grieving process same for you i know

For me, it took many years to finally learn about me
your time will come too im sure. just give it time.

I went for it cause our convo was going well.

Me: so remember how I used to *insert crazy behaviours here*

Her: Well, not to offend you but...yes. Sorry.

Do you feel better for doing it ?

Hmm that is a really good point, I think we often think other people won't understand and then they actually show more understanding than we would expect. I do feel better for talking to my long time ago friend. I can't say she understood perfectly - she did say she didn't have the same struggles as I do. but she did actually validate something that happened a long time ago. Like she was able to explain what was going on for her and while her understanding wasn't perfect, it was still there.

It definitely has given me some stuff to think about anyway. I don't expect my BPD or fears of abandonment are going to be "cured" any time soon but...maybe this sort of thing is a step in healing.

witchessabbath wrote:Hmm that is a really good point, I think we often think other people won't understand and then they actually show more understanding than we would expect. I do feel better for talking to my long time ago friend. I can't say she understood perfectly - she did say she didn't have the same struggles as I do. but she did actually validate something that happened a long time ago. Like she was able to explain what was going on for her and while her understanding wasn't perfect, it was still there.

It definitely has given me some stuff to think about anyway. I don't expect my BPD or fears of abandonment are going to be "cured" any time soon but...maybe this sort of thing is a step in healing.

Cure/cured no ..but small changes here and there, thats what has helped me
small steps yes ..and as you said the validation you received helped you and thats great.

I've got confusion circling in my mind right now. Sometimes it's at the forefront, other times it's kept in the back, but I can't get it out of my head.

There's a person I've come across on another website who I relate to incredibly accurately, and we get along perfectly. Someone who lives in a different country, but is only less than a year older and also suspects that she has BPD. The problem is, I can't determine if the good of it is outweighing the detriment, that being, every time she posts about being in a bad mood, I pick up on it. I've already got a lot of good out of this, even smiles, formerly way out of my norm. I just don't know if it's worth it, worth the contagiousness.

But she's spoken about being abandoned by people in the past and harshly reprimands herself for it a lot, even though she's one of the most generous people I've ever spoke to. There's no way it'd be easy for me to "break off."

caughtinafray wrote:I've got confusion circling in my mind right now. Sometimes it's at the forefront, other times it's kept in the back, but I can't get it out of my head.

There's a person I've come across on another website who I relate to incredibly accurately, and we get along perfectly. Someone who lives in a different country, but is only less than a year older and also suspects that she has BPD. The problem is, I can't determine if the good of it is outweighing the detriment, that being, every time she posts about being in a bad mood, I pick up on it. I've already got a lot of good out of this, even smiles, formerly way out of my norm. I just don't know if it's worth it, worth the contagiousness.

But she's spoken about being abandoned by people in the past and harshly reprimands herself for it a lot, even though she's one of the most generous people I've ever spoke to. There's no way it'd be easy for me to "break off."

Try getting into a "serious" relationship with her, then begun slowly but steadily working on deteriorating her self-esteem - you could for example make a subtle comment on how nice this other girl's hair is, say that she did extraordinarily well at something she clearly botched, etc. At the same time say that you love her, and that it's all in her head. This should be funny.