Ever still get hung up over an ex?

I don't want my ex-boyfriend back I know that's for sure. Sometimes, I guess I think of our memories though and miss things which I'm sure is normal. But sometimes, I go on Facebook and try to see what I can on his wall although its limited. He is still with the same girlfriend he had a month after me. He was my first boyfriend and vice versa. It bugs me a tiny bit that he is still with her.

I honestly feel like once a person becomes an ex, not only do i cut off all contact and its completely done forever but, I just feel like no matter what, I can never be happy for them. I can move on and eventually tolerate them moving on as well but, I won't ever be happy. They left me. They hurt me. Why be happy for them ever? (not looking for an actual answer to that question!)

I just want to know if anyone experiences similar things. More so on not being happy for them. Im sure A LOT of you check on his or her Facebook or stuff like that.

totally, 100% absolutely always and forever. there does come a point where i begin to feel indifference towards them, but it's always a matter of time and to what extent i was into them and also how the relationship ended. the more catastrophic the ending, the longer it takes to move on.

No. I've never seen the point, and don't understand how people can remain friends with their ex's, unless maybe it was a mutual decision to break up. I guess for me it's just to painful. I'd miss the old times/memories, the connection, there's new boundaries, I also wouldn't want to hear anything about the new person in their life. It's too painful for me. I guess I'd prefer to do my best and forget. I wouldn't say that I'm happy for them, it's more I get to a point where I'm indifferent and don't care one way or the other.

Its a shame if people can't stay friends when things don't work out in that sense. (only disappointing if they're my ex though )

I don't think I have BPD, but I'll reply anyway. I have to admit in the past no. I didn't have many exes - didn't go in for relationships much after I realised I didn't have to have them. Stuck with just having friends mostly. I didn't stay friends with my past exes because I had nothing to bother staying friends with them for. If I'm honest they might as well not exist as far as I'm concerned, I couldn't care less.

There's a person now I'd like to stay in touch with somehow one way or another, but I prefer it when he doesn't pull my tail. That's the main reason on my side that we're not an "item".

katana wrote:There's a person now I'd like to stay in touch with somehow one way or another, but I prefer it when he doesn't pull my tail. That's the main reason on my side that we're not an "item".

I'm flattered!!

There's only one ex I'm still hung up on and that's because he won't let me go and vice versa.

I have one other ex who once I left him it was like he didn't exist. There were no sad messages from me, no calls, no texts, nothing. Actually he ended up contacting me asking what was wrong like a month later and I told him I was busy with new friends and that was it for me. Eventually a few months went by, I got married, and the ex tried to initiate contact with me again. This time my husband had to tell him buzz off because I'd moved on and he never called again. I feel absolutely indifferent to the entire relationship I had with him and even when I see him by coincidence I keep walking, no second glances.

Sounds so cold hearted, but I'm like that with old friends I've cut off as well.

I'm still in contact with most of my ex-boyfriends, even the ones that ended very badly. I'm over them, but I am still hung up on the last one. It was a terrible relationship, he abused me in every way, but I can't stop thinking of him. I check his Facebook every day even though he hardly ever updates anything publicly. I also stalk his girlfriend's Facebook and his last girlfriend before me that he cheated on me with, and her new boyfriend. I don't know what I'm trying to find, I just want to see their pictures and some information on what they are doing.

I would never, ever take this guy back. I don't even talk to him. He treated me horribly, but I still have feelings for him. I even dream about him sometimes. Its been 6 weeks since our last contact. I don't have BPD as far as I know. But I would feelvery jealous if I thought he loved his girlfriend more than me or if he was treating her better than he treated me. I've no idea how he treats her, but he cheated on her with me (before I knew she existed) and kept trying to cheat on her with me for months, so that makes me feel slightly better that he still wanted me even though he's with her. If he didn't want anything to do with me because of her, that would probably drive me crazy.

noreally_imfine wrote:I don't want my ex-boyfriend back I know that's for sure. Sometimes, I guess I think of our memories though and miss things which I'm sure is normal. But sometimes, I go on Facebook and try to see what I can on his wall although its limited. He is still with the same girlfriend he had a month after me. He was my first boyfriend and vice versa. It bugs me a tiny bit that he is still with her.

I honestly feel like once a person becomes an ex, not only do i cut off all contact and its completely done forever but, I just feel like no matter what, I can never be happy for them. I can move on and eventually tolerate them moving on as well but, I won't ever be happy. They left me. They hurt me. Why be happy for them ever? (not looking for an actual answer to that question!)

I just want to know if anyone experiences similar things. More so on not being happy for them. Im sure A LOT of you check on his or her Facebook or stuff like that.

Hi,

I can relate to a lot of what you said.

There was this one girl who treated me worse than anyone else ever has. She went out of her way to treat me like s**t. But, she is the one person I find most difficult to forget, and she is the one I fantasize most about. I constantly have flashbacks about the first couple of weeks we spent together, which were PERFECT, after which everything went downhill real fast.

Despite my mind telling me I shouldn't, I have looked her up on Facebook a few times (even though I don't have a Facebook account), and have even emailed her two years after we broke up (we were only "together" for about three weeks). She got married earlier this year, and I was not able to truly feel happy for her. I still, sometimes, imagine her with her husband, fantasizing that I could have been that guy.

Needless to say, I'm still not over her mistreatment of me, and don't think I'll ever be over it.

From what I know, flashbacks of the past are common in borderlines.

I cannot be a friend with my exboyfriend..it's hurting.It reminds me how happy i was and how happy i could be..IF i just were not so sick..

By the ankles or the wrists?