So I have BPD.

Hi again.
I posted a couple of threads a little while ago.. and I finally saw the psychiatrist again today. I've been having regular meetings with my care coordinator anyway so he knew most of my symptoms already. He got me to explain things a bit more in depth then said that yes I do have BPD.
Idk how I'm meant to feel really. I don't have the diagnosis on paper yet so it's like, not quite real yet but it's not exactly a surprise either. I'll post a bit more now I know I'm "supposed" to be here anyway!

Hola niente;

the reaction to the diagnosis ( mine came June this year) I've found varies from person to person. Many fellow BPD'ers (myself included) expressed relief at finally receiving a proper diagnosis, especially if you've suffered your whole life with pain you can't escape no matter how hard you try, depression, etc. Others troubled and confused by it and the stigma attached to it. Education is always good, and there's alot of resources out there, and if you're looking to read up on it, ask your psychiatrist; mine gave me a list of books I might like reading. There's also some very good memoirs out there written by those who recovered from BPD ( I adore The Buddha and The Borderline).

This site is also invaluable as we're all in the same boat and aside from therapy this is the one place where I know I'm not being judged and find more understanding here than I get from people IRL, including family.

Slainte

Hi there niente!
Receiving a diagnosis can bring up a lot of different feelings. I know I denied it for a long time, only to be diagnosed a second time! It was then that I decided that I must really have this disorder. Take your time working through the feelings, and know that it's not a "death sentence." RECOVERY IS REAL!

Zerosum wrote:Hola niente;

the reaction to the diagnosis ( mine came June this year) I've found varies from person to person. Many fellow BPD'ers (myself included) expressed relief at finally receiving a proper diagnosis, especially if you've suffered your whole life with pain you can't escape no matter how hard you try, depression, etc. Others troubled and confused by it and the stigma attached to it. Education is always good, and there's alot of resources out there, and if you're looking to read up on it, ask your psychiatrist; mine gave me a list of books I might like reading. There's also some very good memoirs out there written by those who recovered from BPD ( I adore The Buddha and The Borderline).

This site is also invaluable as we're all in the same boat and aside from therapy this is the one place where I know I'm not being judged and find more understanding here than I get from people IRL, including family.

Slainte

Cheze2 wrote:Hi there niente!
Receiving a diagnosis can bring up a lot of different feelings. I know I denied it for a long time, only to be diagnosed a second time! It was then that I decided that I must really have this disorder. Take your time working through the feelings, and know that it's not a "death sentence." RECOVERY IS REAL!

I will have a look into some books about it Zerosum, thanks for the suggestions and thankyou to you both for the supportive words.
I get the relief thing, mostly because I can get the correct help now we know what's up with me but it's also good to have an explanation for all the things I've never understood why I do. I'm not in denial about it or anything, I can look at the symptoms and I know it's effectively a list of my personality lol. I'm aware that there can be a stigma attached to the diagnosis but I also understand that it's an unfair stereotype so hopefully I'll be alright to deal with that, I don't think I'm too worried about it.
Did you guys tell friends/family or keep it to yourselves? I'm undecided about what I want to do with that, I think there are a few people who deserve to know because they've been affected by my actions at some point and it might give an explanation to them for why I did/said whatever it was, but on the other hand there are other people who I think just don't need to know.

I would say tell the people you feel are closest to you and have been directly affected by your disorder. I haven't told friends unless I'm particularly close with them.

I too have only told the people who are very close to me, as well as those at my work as it is part of my job description. I work openly as someone with lived experience with a psychiatric disorder. While my parents knew when I was younger, I have a feeling they have forgotten at this point and have no idea what my diagnosis is, though that is the nature of our relationship. It's not a very close one.

ninaadelina wrote:I would say tell the people you feel are closest to you and have been directly affected by your disorder. I haven't told friends unless I'm particularly close with them.

Cheze2 wrote:I too have only told the people who are very close to me, as well as those at my work as it is part of my job description. I work openly as someone with lived experience with a psychiatric disorder. While my parents knew when I was younger, I have a feeling they have forgotten at this point and have no idea what my diagnosis is, though that is the nature of our relationship. It's not a very close one.

Thanks, yeah I think I have at least one friend who deserves to know because he's been on the receiving end A LOT, I think some family members deserve to know too. I also have a couple of friends who know I have mental health problems anyway and are supportive so I might tell them too, but that's it.
I'm waiting to get my notes back from the psychiatrist, I thought they'd come today but they didn't and I'm really nervous to see what he's written about me

I only told my mom, dad and stepmom, grandma and very few others. I apologized to them for any actions and reactions to past conflicts on my part. I asked that they do what they can to educate themselves on it and how it affects both them and me, so they can better understand why I act and react the way I do to certain situations, comments, etc. Also, as part of my DBT intake I was given a huge pamphlet to share with loved ones about BPD. In it there's a section for how they can take care of themselves while also making sure that your emotional needs are met and that you're receiving the support you need without them suffering burn out, or the feeling of "walking on eggshells" when around you. I saved it to my pc as a pdf file and emailed it to those I told and asked them to read it when they could.

I can relate to your comment about dying to see what your psych wrote about you. During my intake I asked if I could see my file, and she said once the group therapy was over I could have access to it, but it would cost me....I'm gonna try and get on that tomorrow....