HELP! Visions,voices,night terrors, insomnia & the devil*TW*

I've been diagnosed bpd I have flash like visions, I hear an evil voice he calls me names is sometimes sexually explicit towards me, I hear chanting and see him (the black devil) that's what he looks like. I've searched for pics to find something that's close to what I'm seeing I've found one but don't know how to post it?? I have severe night terrors too aswell as insomnia I'm usually lucky and get around 4hrs sleep a night. I also suffer from possession like experience where the black devil seems to take over me (my doc doesn't know this, I'm to scared to tell anyone I case they lock me up) I growl a lot when this happens. I also have paranoia & anxiety especially when I'm out. I always have to have someone with me. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else suffers these kind of symptoms too?

What you describe sounds very scary. I cannot relate to the visions/voices/night terrors unfortunately. I do have experience with paranoia and anxiety. I know it can be scary to talk to your doctor about these types of things, but no one will be able to help you in 3D if they don't know what is going on. If you're not comfortable with your doctor, is there someone else in 3D that you could tell, or perhaps go to your doctor appointment with you to describe some of the things you described here? A doctor cannot put you in the hospital unless you are a danger to yourself or others. They can't "lock you up" against your will just because you are hearing and seeing things.

SHESHELL04 wrote:I've been diagnosed bpd I have flash like visions, I hear an evil voice he calls me names is sometimes sexually explicit towards me, I hear chanting and see him (the black devil) that's what he looks like. I've searched for pics to find something that's close to what I'm seeing I've found one but don't know how to post it?? I have severe night terrors too aswell as insomnia I'm usually lucky and get around 4hrs sleep a night. I also suffer from possession like experience where the black devil seems to take over me (my doc doesn't know this, I'm to scared to tell anyone I case they lock me up) I growl a lot when this happens. I also have paranoia & anxiety especially when I'm out. I always have to have someone with me. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else suffers these kind of symptoms too?

my brother has hallucinations at night in the dark sometimes. usually audio of kids laughing behind his back like something bad is going to happen. sometimes he has like peripheral vision of these kids. he also sees and hears a little girl screaming... he said he got used to it, has it since childhood and says he doesn't fear them anymore, but used to fear them a lot as a kid.

seriously, tell this to your doctor. so many people suffer because they feel ashamed of something that's not at all their fault. please stop suffering and tell this to your doc. there are meds that will easily stop this, you're torturing yourself for nothing. and then start some kind of therapy and work out where this comes from...

What you've described sounds familiar to what I deal with some nights and have experienced; to a somewhat different degree. Have you ever heard of Sleep Paralysis? I've suffered from it off and on since I was 13. As I've gotten older the episodes are getting fewer and farther between. Here's what the interwebs says about it:

"Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. More formally, it is a transition state between wakefulness and rest characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It can occur at sleep onset or upon awakening, and it is often associated with terrifying visions (e.g., an intruder in the room), to which one is unable to react due to paralysis. It is believed a result of disrupted REM sleep, which is normally characterized by complete muscle atonia that prevents individuals from acting out their dreams. Sleep paralysis has been linked to disorders such as narcolepsy, migraines, anxiety disorders, and obstructive sleep apnea; however, it can also occur in isolation.[1][2] When linked to another disorder, sleep paralysis commonly occurs in association with the neuromuscular disorder narcolepsy.[2]"

You mentioned you have flash like visions and hear an evil voice. Is this while you're asleep and dreaming, about to wake up or wide awake? I have experienced nocturnal sexual episodes (which are common to those who suffer from sleep paralysis) with what I perceive in my dream to be the most evil thing in existence and I'm helpless to stop it. I can't make out the figure that's terrifying me in my stuck state of sleep only that it's dark, fuzzy and blurry. On occasion I have witnessed what a nurse at the sleep disorder clinic I went to referred to as "The old hag". She has long, stringy, white hair and in my transitional state from asleep to wide awake I can make out everything in the room; the dresser, nightstand, mirror, etc...she walks right up to my side of the bed...and that's when I wake up. For the longest time I had no clue what was happening. It was worse when I was younger. And I always know "in dream" ( can't think of a better way to describe it) now when it's about to occur as the landscape of the dream I'm currently in washes away and I start to hear and feel winds all around me. Then the panic and fear set in. It's difficult to describe.

Again, to the OP, I don't know if you're having these visions during sleeping or waking hours...or if anything I described based on my experiences hits home. I'm not a doctor but I read your post and it reminded me of my dealing with sleep paralysis. I once saw a documentary in which people discussed their experiences with sleep paralysis ( Singer Sheryl Crow suffers from it) and the various forms this "evil being" takes on, and there are many. In no way am I saying it's sleep paralysis as I don't know if these episodes happen while you're asleep, half asleep, on the verge of waking...but there's no shame in bringing it up to your doctor if it's troubling you....

Hi all, first of all thank you for replying, I get the visions and voices at anytime of day or night. Although it happens when I'm in bed too but unlike sleep paralasis I can move & speak. I've had the voices and the main voice for aslong as I can remember. I've suffered with mental health all my life, had workers/therapy/counciling etc over the years. Been diagnosed with PTSD. Anxiety disorder. Manic depression & emotional unstable personality disorder. I also self harm & abuse proscription drugs. The visions can vary, it's Kim of like a wormhole with other people's memories flashing in front of me as I'm speeding through the wormhole, kind of like the beginning of dr who but I'm the tardis and I have other people's memories showing one after the other. It can be quite scary and over whelming at times other times I try to ask what they want and why are they showing me all this. I never get a reply though. I have spoken to a doctor who is sending me to therapy on Tuesday. I write & draw some of my experiences so I will be showing them to the therapist. Tha k you all so much for your advice I don't feel so alone anymore x

I can relate to the audio hallucinations. I hear chanting like monks sinking or something like that, or I will hear bunch of voices like from a distant crowd all talking at once. Occasional I get visual hallucinations but just shadows off the side kind of stuff. So I can imagine how terrifying that must be for you. You know we may all be diagnosed for one thing or another but that does not mean we can't get a disorder from another category. [mod edit] My hallucinations are very minor compared to yours. If I had yours I would definitely bring it up to your doctor.

Some of what you're describing is a very common experience called "night terrors" that can be quite scary but that aren't harmful in any way as far as I know. I experience mild night terrors on occasion myself. The sensation for me involves a cacophony of seemingly evil voices screeching and chattering in the background as I feel like I'm being sucked into a wormhole. I see an "evil" face on occasion and basically scream and wake up. What I've learned to do is basically relax and go with it. I am a relatively cold and rational person by nature (Narcissist - lol), so I find that by simply relaxing and keeping in mind that none of it is real and letting the process run its course, the effects are minimized and the night terror ends much more quickly.

A friend of mine, who is also a Narcissist, has much more severe night terrors, but they seem to feature a similar pattern. Instead of feeling like she's being pulled into a wormhole, she feels like she's being dragged into Hell. I find it interesting how the pattern is basically the same in different people. In any case, I wonder if people with PDs are prone to these night terrors for some reason. It could be a form of PTSD that comes about for the same reason PDs do.

The difference is is that I'm awake when the hallucinations & visions happen, I could be anywhere at anytime & just zone out (doesn't happen much outside as I rarely go out because of anxiety attacks

SHESHELL04 wrote:The difference is is that I'm awake when the hallucinations & visions happen, I could be anywhere at anytime & just zone out (doesn't happen much outside as I rarely go out because of anxiety attacks

same here, but they do vary. You have not noticed some times they carry over in to your dreams?

I get what your saying tho, any time any where, same here. Even happens out side for me. Some times I totally freak out because I start thinking everyone is on some kind of conspiracy to get me and this whole world is fake just to mess with me. And every one is waiting for me to come to the realization of what's going on. Freaks me out. Like right now, all this, even this forum and every one on it is in on some kind of conspiracy to mess with me some how. I know it's ridiculous, but some times I do get that feeling and have to question it.

I believe it's a perception error. Perception is reality. SO what is reality? Simply our perception. What ever we see, touch or hear or feel is all chemical reactions. So how do we know what is real and what is from our mind? I think this realization is freakier then the basic hallucinations we know are not real, because what I'm talking about crosses over to reality.

Again, what I experience is mild and I can cope and deal with it, for now any ways. I really suggest you talk to your doctor about what you are experiencing. Or at least keep a journal. So if and when you are ready to talk about it you will have a written record of it.

Omg! I thought I was the only one that thought I was in my very own "Truman show" I am exactly the same. When I do manage to get out I shout at people for looming at me I think they are reading my thoughts etc and yes I experience the visions when I'm out too. I also think of conspiracys and thy I'm constantly being watched, even going to the toilet I will only use my own I think cameras are in them. When I do manage to go out I can turn quite violent cos the voices will provoke me so I start screaming n swearing etc then I get looked at which obv makes me worse. I always have to have someone with me at all times, I can only go so far too. I can't use public transport I tend to shout at ethnic minorities wearing back packs or bags etc I call em terrorists and shout etc. then I have major panic attacks. Sometimes I don't remember anything, sometimes it's like I'm looking at myself through someone else's eyes. I do keep a daily diary I also have a page on a social network site about my diary. I am taking them to the therapist on Tuesday.

The picture is a lot like what I experience at night, my partner doesn't see it or hear it but I am wide awake reading or talking to my partner/carer and "he" & the voices will jump in the conversation and say nasty things about me and what he is gunna do to me etc when I'm asleep. I tell my partner everything and he tries to comfort me. I can handle most of it as its daily and I'm used to it but some of the things it shows me sometimes are so scary I end up hysterical and turn to cutting myself which seems to make "him" stop for a bit like it pleases him. It also feels good the burn of the cut. I pinch myself too. I've also found that full blast music helps with the voices, my fella go be some dre beads studio's and cos I have to have the music so loud I have scarred my eardrums just to drown out the voices.
I can't thank you all enough for you help & words of support, I'm so glad I found this forum
"He" or "him" =