Ruining my hearing

I have a long running psychosis of thinking that people are talking about me. When I do hear something negative, it triggers an almost suicidal response. It has been this way for a long time.

I have listened to the B. Gita for a long time. I have gotten better function wise but as of late, I have been depressed and I have used the earplugs on the music player to shut people.

Everyone knows that I am sick and pretty much know my history. No matter how much feminist literature I read on shaming of females in certain situations or listen to gospel music, I don't feel well at all.

I know that we have to strengthen within but it always gets difficult.

I used to sing but now I can't hear well enough.