Bpd good in bed? (possible tw)

Okay so I keep reading that people with BPD are supposed to be good in bed
(On this forum and elsewhere...)
Why is this such a popular opinion!?
And why would someone with BPD be good in bed?
Obviously I can only talk for myself and I don't want to generalise but I'm curious as to why we have this reputation... Not that I'm complaining or anything!

bps are ppl pleasers
and they read ppl easely (know what ppl want)

I think it has to do with the way we see love and validation. Things that happen in the bedroom can be super validating. It can create a very deep sense of acceptance. I think people with BPD get into it more.

In my experience, people with bpd also put more effort into making the other person enjoy themselves. I could be way off. I have also found people with problems are more creative most of the time.

I see this all the time too, and I've never had someone actually explain what it is specifically that people with bpd do differently that apparently makes us so good. I have always been told that I'm particularly good in bed by my partners, but only one person ever explained and he said it was because I knew what I wanted and I took it.... like, I wasn't timid, I guess? he said I was more like the older women he's slept with than other women my age or younger (I was in my early 20s at the time). so that's one guy's view on one bpd woman's sexual prowess. lol

Maybe those of us with BPD are more open minded because we aim to please and we want our partners to feel a deep connection with us.

I know I've heard from ex boyfriends in my past that some women put up huge fights about sex and refuse to do this or that while in the moment and ruin it; also some women withhold sex as a form of punishment, etc. I couldn't imagine doing any of that, ever.

Caustic wrote:I think it has to do with the way we see love and validation. Things that happen in the bedroom can be super validating. It can create a very deep sense of acceptance. I think people with BPD get into it more.

In my experience, people with bpd also put more effort into making the other person enjoy themselves. I could be way off. I have also found people with problems are more creative most of the time.

This is so true. It's probably not particularly healthy but I do use sex to gain validation. If my boyfriend happens to 'not be in the mood' for whatever reason I can fly of the handle and end up in floods of tears. Sexy aye!?

rainbow_sprinkles wrote:I see this all the time too, and I've never had someone actually explain what it is specifically that people with bpd do differently that apparently makes us so good. I have always been told that I'm particularly good in bed by my partners, but only one person ever explained and he said it was because I knew what I wanted and I took it.... like, I wasn't timid, I guess? he said I was more like the older women he's slept with than other women my age or younger (I was in my early 20s at the time). so that's one guy's view on one bpd woman's sexual prowess. lol

I've been told exactly the same thing in the past. That I'm not shy in being forward and saying what I want. Although a lot of the time (prior to my relationship now) I was drunk or on some kind of drug when I had sex so I don't know if this is what gave me the confidence Either way I took it as a compliment ha.

bcm wrote:Maybe those of us with BPD are more open minded because we aim to please and we want our partners to feel a deep connection with us.

I know I've heard from ex boyfriends in my past that some women put up huge fights about sex and refuse to do this or that while in the moment and ruin it; also some women withhold sex as a form of punishment, etc. I couldn't imagine doing any of that, ever.

Again, I totally agree. This probably comes across as 'slutty' or whatever (I hate that word) but I'd pretty much do whatever my partner wanted (within reason!) I definitely couldn't withhold sex as a punishment.

Maybe BPD's have this reputation because they can be so agreeable in such situations because they're looking for connection and validation. I guess that's the point everyone's making really.

LOL! I'm terrible in bed! I hate being on top. I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed because I don't know what I'm doing. Its like I can really MOVE when on top. Im awful at it it shoots down my self esteem.

Im a TERRIBLE lover in bed.

noreally_imfine wrote:LOL! I'm terrible in bed! I hate being on top. I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed because I don't know what I'm doing. Its like I can really MOVE when on top. Im awful at it it shoots down my self esteem.

Im a TERRIBLE lover in bed.

This may be completely inappropriate but if it is too graphic it can be mod edited.

If you are a woman and feel uncomfortable due to inexperience or whatever reason next time when riding your partner ask him to take hold of your hips or upper thighs and move you to the rhythm that he enjoys. This will feel good for you as well because it increases friction to the clitorisis and its just sexy as hell. We'll leave it at that.

Definitely BPD women are good! They do love to please and more likely to be submissive. But I do not know how males are because I never had a male lol, I'm str8 male BPD. I am not submissive, and probably NOT very typical of BPD males, for me it's all about power and control. Any submissive female will do, as long as she is attractive that is. I'm usually not looking for love, just sex.

I've found that borderline women are usually gorgeous and great in bed. I'm not saying their BPD is responsible for their physical beauty and sexual prowess, it just seems to be an extremely common coincidence that I've come across many times in my romantic life.