What's your identity? Advice?

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if any of you have a set identity or personality, and how you came to find it? I'm sorry if that sounded inconsiderate, but I'm not quite sure how else to word it.
I feel that I am always going through phases (ex: becoming OBSESSED with something, and changing my views to become that) like I was obsessed with sports for a while, farming, asian culture, southern values, criminology, and rock stardom. whenever i become obsessed, my whole identity changes and my personal beliefs change along with it.
i don't have my 'own' personality or beliefs, as i am always changing them to fit my new obsession. It's like i use others' personlity (or a group of people's beliefs) to form my own??
I hope this made sense, and if you have anything to add, feel free to do so!

Hope you don't mind me replying even though I don't identify with BPD.

I don't know about going through stages with identity unless you're just exploring different interests. Isn't that how you find out who you are (externally anyway.) Identity confusion in BPD happens early on and is attachment related so I doubt its to do with going through different interests. That on its own is much more child and teenager-like, about being at an [emotional] age where you are finding yourself, whereas BPD is about being unable to find yourself.

My reaction (as me) is to ask isn't it possible you can be all of these things but just currently focussed on one more than the other?

I have a personality but my beliefs are based on logic. I recognise everyone is different, its not really possible to have any absolutes... I can be what I want and who I want if I stay true to my own core self or what aspects of it I have found so far, but there are some things which remain static:

I am always a libertarian.
I always don't believe in enforcing gender norms.
I always don't believe in creating a passive, helpless society or "overcaring".
I always believe psychological problems are not an illness but have more in common with a state of "unfitness".
I have a feisty aggressive side. I always believe there is more value in society accepting the existence of and positives of this side in people.
I always believe in facing problems head on. I always believe in attempting to live with courage.
I always understand the common sense need for people who are friends to need to treat each other with decency.

There are also things I don't have any values or opinion about.

I can appear obsessed with things, but I'm really not. Its an attentional "disorder" which could be related a little to hyperfocus in ADHD and special interests in Autism, but isn't actually either of those because I neither have concentration problems or overly focussed on systemising. Its about what my focus is on. Call it hyperfocus if you like, it seems closest.

I'm not BPD but I am very much like a teenager in terms of my understanding of my own identity in relation to the world, but it isn't some kind of bad thing or a problem or issue unless I want to be impatient about it.

I've been diagnosed with BPD, but I can't really relate to what you're saying.

My personality/identity never changes, I have set moral, ideals and habits.

From what you've said, I'd say they sound like fads. Most people go through fads to find hobbies they enjoy. Last year mine was knitting

I think what you're describing is mirroring behavior, people can consciously or unconsciously mirror someone else. It's how people fit in. As far as I'm aware some with BPD, DPD, HPD mirror others, I guess to gain approval.
It's not something I'm personally aware of doing, I don't like my partners hobbies for instance and we argue all the time with differing opinions.

I hope this helps a little.

The Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is one of the narcissistic disorders (antisocial PD, narcissistic PD, and BPD).

These are "the self seekers."
The "as-if personalities."
The human cameleons.

I was diagnosed with BPD at age 32, I'm now twice that age.
When I think back on my life I wonder how I could have done things differently.
I don't have any idea.

I like to imagine what I'd do if I had it all to do all over again.
And again, I have no idea what I could have done to alter the outcome.

I can think of jobs, careers, avocations, and interests I could have followed
but as in the expression, "no matter where you go . . . there you are."
In other words, I'd have found the same issues confronting me no matter
what path I had chosen.

The "geographic cure" is no help either. People are the same all over
and the individual is the same regardless of location.

One strategy that has worked is isolation.
Though this may not be a healthy strategy for me
but isolating myself is certainly the best strategy for everyone else.
My only benefit is from the lack of confrontation.

House cats help too. My cats are always glad to see me.

Apparently I do have set personality traits. I have a strong sense of loyalty. Always. I'm very political. I believe in being kind. I have a strong sense of compassion toward animals and children (people can go to hell for all I care). I have a strong sense of justice. I am always willing to fight for those I love.

These things no matter how I change...it will always be the same.

missehffs wrote:From what you've said, I'd say they sound like fads. Most people go through fads to find hobbies they enjoy. Last year mine was knitting

I wouldn't say those kind of changes couldn't be related to BPD, especially if accompanied by a real change of identity. But fads are more usual, and definitely normal in people who are genuinely in the process of finding themselves i.e. young people, or people who are at that stage a little later for some reason, not just people who are struggling to.

I was going to ask if you'd knit me a cat but that might be a bit weird. I'll wait til you take up drawing or poetry or something lol

It's safe to say I wont be knitting you a cat, what I didn't mention is that knitting isn't my forte! lol

Oddly - I'm in the middle of writing a story about my cat, you can have a copy when it's finished

I knit a little. I am super embarrassed about that.

My fad hobbies are many. I have tried everything from cowboying, knitting, leather working, bass, guitar, gardening, programming; et cetera ad infinitum.

Thank you to everyone for the insight!
And to clear up the confusion, i meant this as a core identity type thing.

Before I started getting better, I didn't have any clue who I was. But recently, I'm beginning to find some things that are constant. Beliefs that I have. I still chameleon badly, and sometimes I'm not sure who I am, but it's starting to settle down.
The only way I found it was by isolating myself and reflecting on myself and everything I did and was doing. It wasn't easy to figure it out, and at first I felt lost, but I've steadily been improving.