I'm BPD with a BPD mother, who doesn't believe in treatment.

I am a 23 year old female coming from an extremely overbearing and oppressive family. I am studying an extremely difficult degree, something which was decided for me. During my first year in university I became depressed and had to see a paychiatrist who diagnosed me with BPD. I was put on medication but my family convinced me to stop the medication after 6months.

My mother was addicted to prescription pain medication from when I was age 10 until age 17, and in a sense abandoned me for this portion of my life. My mother swings from being extremely clingy and tearful to cold and ruthless. I have never had a father figure.

I'm writing in this forum to simply find other people who are struggling as i am. I am in dire need of some sort of support system. My 1 year relationship with my boyfriend is starting to crumble due to my constant outbursts and guilt tripping. I want to get help, but because i get financial support from my mother as im not working yet, i can not make this choice for myself. My mother does not believe in medication for psychological issues.

I feel so helpless.

Please help.

hi there melcapetown -

looks like you could use a little sunshine today! i'm sorry you're having to take the weight and pressure of this disorder with the added stress of an invalidating and oppressive family to boot. it's terrible to have to be controlled by other's beliefs when they don't coincide with your own.

in regards to the meds...what were you prescribed for those 6 months? did you find them effective? i'm curious as there are definite 'holistic' approaches to treatment but it depends on exactly what you were being treated for? are you in therapy?

glad you found us and we're happy to have you here,

wineaux

I'm sorry to read about this. Your sketch of your situation is very familiar in the broad strokes to many of us. You have a lot of powerful forces swirling around you.

What I'd share is that you're probably in for a long haul. You seem well begun.

Progress for us can be a balancing act between striving to heal while still allowing ourselves to be OK where we are at the moment. It's tough. We can spend a long time dwelling and dissociating to an extent, and seem to be avoiding facing the leading edge of our growth; we can also expect too much of ourselves and get exhausted from the pressure.

It's my belief that although we do our therapy or self work at a somewhat conscious level, the true healing seems to be a largely unconscious process that can take a significant amount of time. Something about self knowing self empowers the sub conscious to unravel the knots that effect us.

So I hope you'll search out sources of balance and inner peace and comfort so that you can nurture yourself, while the inner machinery embarks on the long course toward greater health.