Highly Sensitive Person...

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

I fit all the traits to the nth degree. If 20% of the population supposedly fit the minimum criteria I'd say I'm in the 99th percentile when it comes to sensitivity, probably 99.7 percentile for a male. Tests show that I have an unusually fast startle reflex. From the ages of 0-3 my parents couldn't take me anywhere there was music playing or loud background noise or I would cry the entire time. At age 5 I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (related to autism, but high functioning) and ADHD. I've also suffered from dysthymia and on-and-off major depression since the age of 15. I also have some bipolar tendencies but they tend to be of the rapid-cycling variety with brief but very deep depressive periods accompanied by extreme irritability.

I have a mix of avoidant and borderline personality traits but my therapist doesn't think a diagnosis of a personality disorder is really warranted because I don't fit in a neat box. It seems like I've developed these traits as a coping mechanisms due to my sensitivity. The more impulsive borderlinish stuff I do only really comes out when I'm with people I'm very comfortable with, family and some friends I hung out with during my undergraduate years. I've been a loner most of my life though and don't do impulsive things on my own except when I go into an extreme depression and have these building and climaxing rage episodes triggered by depression.

Anyways, just felt like sharing. I don't know if there are other people here who believe they developed traits as a coping response to being a "Highly Sensitive Person" who feels vulnerable because they struggle socially.

BPD usually develops in highly sensitive people, otherwise the person would of probably developed a different PD. I think most psychologists consider pwBPD to be "highly sensitive people in a lot of pain". While some like to call it "moderate" narcissism since the ego shifts too much to allow full narcissism in BPD, some also say BPD is like narcissism inverted. I personally feel like when we give up ourselves we will eventually have triggers that rob from others. BPD seems to begin with a complete giving up of yourself in order for the child to survive their parents. When that happens obviously the child's narcissistic needs are never met at an age they are suppose to be. That is why different narcissistic needs linger in all PDs including BPD despite BPD simultaneously being the giving up of oneself in many ways. I find BPD to be one of the most paradoxical of all the PDs.

I was thinking about highly sensitive not just in terms of emotional injury but having problems with too much coming at you at once. Problems with competition, being watched, loudness, chaos, always feeling rushed, feeling everything too deeply, the need to focus on one thing at a time. It's just a general feeling of the world being a place that's too jarring and harsh for you from the instant you exited the womb. It's so strange for me. I feel like such a wimp being a 6'1" 200 lb guy jumping at the sound of a motorcycle taking off while a petite 5'3" women carrying on a happy conversation with friends is hardly phased.

Yeah that is what I meant by highly sensitive as well. It's when the pain of early childhood is dropped on top of the highly sensitive feelings is when BPD typically arises.

I think most people with BPD are highly sensitive. I might even guess all people with BPD are. But as it says, 20% of the population are. And I think it's about 20% with depression nowadays too. And these are only out of the people who come forward and I know plenty who won't speak to a doctor as they feel it's a sign of weakness. It's really quite common to have some pyscological issues. Certain traits of BPD can be found in completely mentally healthy people.

The internet is a great tool to research things and can provide a lot of comfort after a diagnosis but you shouldn't read too much into self diagnosis. If I believed I suffered from every illness the internet says I show symptoms of, I would be sick with worry all day. The internet believes I have asthma although about 10 doctors I've seen throughout my life disagree.

Conclave, unless I missed something you meant, I think you are simplifying where and when BPD starts. Every bit of literature I've ever read says they don't know what causes it and there are many different sociological factors to it. I can certainly tell you I'd be very very very surprised if mine had anything to do with my parents in the slightest. While it might be down to daddy issues for some, it certainly wasn't for me.

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littlearcher wrote:i think that bpd generally develops when a highly sensitive person is subject to an invalidating environment as a child.

The first doctor who diagnosed me with it seemed to think the major cause were several things that happened in the space of a year when I was very little and don't even remember to be honest. One of them was a friend dying, and one of them was my friends mother going into hospital for a routine operation and then dying. Apparently I spent a year dreading my mother dying because of how I linked it in my head. Something else happened that year also so there was a lot going on as a young child for me personally. Although I have to say my actual family life itself was.. not great, but it wasn't bad.

But everything I read on BPT seemed to put it more down to drug use. I've even seen it put down to general society. I always thought noone really knew why or when it developed, but I do tend to read the same literature from the same writers, so maybe I need to expand my library

littlearcher wrote:i could expand that to say invalidating environment or trauma as a young child.

i have never seen anything about drug use and that doesn't mirror my experience at all as i had very strong traits for as long as i can remember.

I'm the same as you there. No drug abuse at all, but I had a lot of strong traits from an early age. I was diagnosed with depression at 7 but they said I'd get over it. Diagnosed with depression again in my late teens. Wasn't really until my first serious relationship in my late teens early 20's that borderline behaviour became pretty obvious and prevalent.

My doctor told me drug abuse was one of the leading causes of it IIRC. And I've read it being the leading cause of a lot of the personality disorders so I just took it as fact, but BPD does seem quite a bit different tham a most the other PD's in my personal opinion.

JustinB113 wrote:I think most people with BPD are highly sensitive. I might even guess all people with BPD are. But as it says, 20% of the population are. And I think it's about 20% with depression nowadays too. And these are only out of the people who come forward and I know plenty who won't speak to a doctor as they feel it's a sign of weakness. It's really quite common to have some pyscological issues. Certain traits of BPD can be found in completely mentally healthy people.

The internet is a great tool to research things and can provide a lot of comfort after a diagnosis but you shouldn't read too much into self diagnosis. If I believed I suffered from every illness the internet says I show symptoms of, I would be sick with worry all day. The internet believes I have asthma although about 10 doctors I've seen throughout my life disagree.

I'm not even saying I "have" BPD anymore. I have a mixture of avoidant and borderline traits that are certainly more severe than they would be in a healthy person. My therapist agrees with this. I'm only posting here because I'm interested. I'm not "worried sick" about one label or another. I don't have my own subforum just for whatever I have so I post where I feel like posting. The fact that you think I'm some kind of stereotypical internet hypochondriac is starting to really really annoy me.

frostfern wrote: The fact that you think I'm some kind of stereotypical internet hypochondriac is starting to really really annoy me.

And the fact that you keep posting your personal experiences as though they are BPD and derailing actual conversations about BPD with something that is not even that similar to BPD kinda annoys me too, but I was too polite to say. Not to be mean, but you don't have BPD so whatever your experiences, you can't really relate to a lot of what is being said, no matter how much you'd like to. Lets just drop it before I show you what BPD actually is bye