The most aggravating thing

I am doing an essay and have chosen to relate it to my illness... I am thinking along the lines of the "get over it" stigma (its only 1000 words)
BUT
thought i'd see what else others like me get aggravated by because they have BPD...
Please note I will NOT be using anything that is written here and put elsewhere nor will I be using names. I am more wanting to build on my thoughts for my personal essay.

thanks

i have narrowed down all my regret to one regret from my childhood. my black and white thinking hasnt still gone, not even reduced. i still have identity issues. when i talk with myself, the voice in my head isnt mine. i try to keep it a hero's voice, if i'm fake i might as well be a good fake. it's tough and tiring and at times i try to remember when was the las time, i was true

What really gets to me is the constant changes in moods and idea's, for example I have been up all night and for last 6 hours I have laughed my head off for ages because of something funny I read, cried over the gold fish I'm looking after(I feel like the owners are cruel as the tank is too small for it) Got really angry at my best friend cause she hasn't bought me my birthday present yet(My birthday was last thursday) I was happy because I had knew sheets on my bed, Got really upset by how my family have treated me - that's the emotional side I can't control them and there was many more and that is just from tonight, but then there is the idea's (normally I get them when I am in a happy mood but they are exhausting) I am going to go to Sweden and live there for a few years so I can learn Swedish and marry a good looking swedish guy with long hair(Don't ask haha), but then it changed to no I want to go back to study so then I was going to go back to uni and study French and Spanish again but then I realised that I failed before so I should do something different, so it changed to psychiatric nursing. Then I was planning in my head a holiday and even looking different places on the web, but the people I will go with don't even know. This has all gone on in one night And it goes on and on and on and my mind just races I can't even keep up with what my mind is planning but I get so excited...too excited ....and for things that probably wont happen. So for me what aggravates me with bpd is how exhausting my thought pattern and my emotions are, my head is very unstable.