**Trigger** Just another self loathing post.

The loneliness gets to me. I don't think I've had a human friend since my SO left. I go days without talking to anyone. When I do, it’s usually my cat, and for some reason I just don't think he understands me. But no one ever did anyway. I’m getting too old for this. The anxiety group was my last attachment to other people. Slowly I'm being pulled to the abyss. The feeling is similar to other times when I just KNEW that there was going to be an issue between me and another person. Like a magnet pulling us together to have a heated argument. This is the feeling I have toward the abyss. It’s coming, I don't know how to stop it. Increasingly, I don't even want to. The reasons to are all but diminished.

Something broke with her letter goodbye. I don't think I am lovable, so I don't even try.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. Let me tell you something, that I'm going to need you to just trust me on. You're lovable. There will be a person who can love you. There are very few people who I would consider unlovable, and I seriously doubt you're one of them.

And you know what else? There's no wrong spending time by yourself, especially with what's going on for you. Try and allow yourself time to grieve and recover from losing her, and then you can start to focus on other things.