Random question from a non to pwBPD

As a pwBPD would you say you tend to perceive your emotions from originating in yourself and being expressed or would you say it feels like your emotions are imposed upon you by other people or events in your environment and that they don't truly originate from yourself? I've read somewhere that a lot of people with borderline tend to feel emotions originate externally rather than internally. Even though I wasn't borderline I remember when I was a PPD there were times it felt like my emotions often originated externally. Anyone willing to share their experiences, thoughts, and/or opinions on this topic?

I think you are explaining it clearly. Before I recovered from PPD I often had the same thing happen to me. I don't think I do anymore or at least not very often. It is awful when it happen though because you feel like you have no control and are helpless. As i've recovered more and more from my own issues though i've learned how to have a lot more control in emotional reactions in myself in respect to external events or people and less often now do things feel like they are coming from the outside in and more does it feel like it's coming from the inside out which I believe is a good sign for recovery.

I 100% agree with that. It is something to do with surviving abusive parents as a child. As a child you feel like everything your parents do represents who you are. So every time they do something horrible you attribute the feelings you get as them imposing those feelings on you externally and thus those feelings defining who you are rather than you as a separate individual having feelings that are an expression of yourself and how you view the world personally. It also has to do with as a child I think children need to attribute whats going wrong in their family as something thats wrong with them personally since if they think somethings wrong with a parent or their parents then they would feel hopeless as to "how could I ever survive with such a terrible person for a parent?" . So they split off whats bad in their parents and attribute it in themselves and whatever is otherwise an expression of themselves that tends to get a bad reaction out of a parent (even if its a neutral or good trait to have as a person) the child then splits off from themselves as bad. Therefore the child grows into an adult feeling like they are someone bad or worthless when really those were entirely subjective views of their parents and have nothing to do with who the child (now adult) really is. Then they (as I did) attribute others subjective views when they're adults as being attacks on them personally rather than harmless opinions or things that have nothing to do with them in reality.