I miss my ex

I miss him so much today.. I miss him more than any of my family (a lot of whom have been horrible to me recently, my real family, my parents, who I loved so much are no longer alive) and my friends.. He was the only one I ever had any connection with.. Not just in a relationship way.. He made me laugh, he made me think.. I feel so lonely.. He was bad to me and I wasn't so great to him sometimes, but it was through the way he was with me, but it doesn't stop me missing him..

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that. It must be really hard. Just try to think of the positives of him being gone. Perhaps it will ease the pain a little.

I miss my ex to an extent also..

I dont think wed be human if we did miss someone we shared a period of our life with.

BUt I look at it this way..I look at what I had to put up with. Yah it started out good and we had good times but I lost a part of me.. I became an enabler...I became a victim of emotional abuse. I lost myself in the process..

I hold those good times dear to my heart. They will always be a part of me. But the choas..the back biting his family did to me gave me balls to stick up for myself and demand better.

JUst because you have BPD doesnt mean you dont deserve better for yourself. You are human just as he is, just as anyone else is.

Being in Tennesee has showed me unconditional love and if he didn't give it to you, then you don't need to be with him. I know we have BPD because the lack of invalidation we received as children but you are worth unconditional love. I cry sometimes because the lack of emotion "douchebag" shows but I know I deserve unconditional love so I dry my tears and move on

-- Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:56 pm --

and to add...

I know it must be strange not having him around..

I miss the routine of having him with me..it just seems weird that hes not around but I know soon enough that not having him around will seem normal..Its just new..

Youll be ok..I have faith in you

I'm sorry, the discomfort is very real. It's nice to see people reaching out a bit here, maybe that helps a little.

I don't miss my ex. I miss the idea, the idea of being valued and spoken to with kindness, being found attractive and sexy. Fact is most of my time with my ex was a living hell.

I agree too..


The routine of a relationship is hard to get over. Its been like three weeks for me and it doesnt seem real.

Youll get used to it though and youre worth way more..

<3

centerpath wrote:Fact is most of my time with my ex was a living hell.

What happened with your ex? I was criticised for not being able to cook very well and because he did all the cooking.. I suppose I took advantage of that a little, I'm not really a morning person (like a lot of BPD people here) and he wanted a cooked breakfast most mornings, I wasn't used to that and the whole thought of getting up at 7am just to make a big breakfast was quite depressing.. I learnt to cook in the end, I baked cakes, made homemade pies, roasts, curries.. Stews, Chilli, Steak.. I can do it all now, I love baking.. But I felt I had to learn, not because I wanted to.. You know he doesn't really like potatoes, he didn't like me eating them because they were fattening (though he would eat them) so I sometimes would cook like a Baked Potato whilst he was at work, he didn't like the amount of electricity that would be used to make one.. So I had to do it in secret!

Hevski wrote:I was criticised for not being able to cook very well and because he did all the cooking..

um...then he needs to go find a 1950's housewife, a chef or just get the fork over himself!

You know he doesn't really like potatoes, he didn't like me eating them because they were fattening (though he would eat them)

that's a load of !!!!

so I sometimes would cook like a Baked Potato whilst he was at work, he didn't like the amount of electricity that would be used to make one.. So I had to do it in secret!

you go girl!!

just on these reasons alone would i choose NOT to be with that person. poop on him!

He was so like my dad in that way, who did most of the cooking, but my dad was a much better cook.. I'd actually say my cooking was better than his in the end.. He agreed that my pies were better and for that I am proud.
I shall go on a Baked Potato binge when I get a place of my own.. Sometimes he'd come home early and the cooker would still be hot and he'd know and I'd laugh.. He did that recently, just before we split and ended up saying "We'll where's mine you never think of me" which is bollocks because he said he hated them and the use of electricity, doh!!