OK now Im starting to feel it..

Im sitting here minding my own ######6 business reading on my nook...and then it hit me..


Really insane anger,..

Im ######6 pissed as hell at "douchebag" at how he belittled me..Told me how I was embarassing me in front of his family..didnt even give me a chance to speak..I am ######6 irate at the lack of respect he displayed to me..Almost to a point I cant control..'

I mean I have been gone for well over a week. And he has not made one attempt to contact me. Asshole. Of course he tried to be a nice and tell me to have a nice trip and yadda yadda blah blag ######6 blah..and I refused to talk to him.

and here I am to ######6 sit in this...while hes there thinking he got the best of me..that he got rid of the "troublemaker" I thought he might think while I am away but would he make an attempt to say something to me if he even remotely had one once of a conscious?

And anger makes me do stupid $#%^ I should be doing...It leads to me feeling overwhelmed, and when Im overwhelmed, I cant control myself.

I defiently think hes a narc..because he has not conscious what so ever..

I do have to stop playing the poor me game though..I am just as at fault. I am the one who chose him and dealt with this for as long as I did..

I was happy not feeling anything about him at all..

###$...I hate you BPD

I know the feeling. And its ever so difficult to kick it out of your head and keep it out. The angry thoughts just pop right back in, and the next thing you know, you're rehearsing what you want to say to him while you rip him a new asshole.

I ACTUALLY JUST did that MIND BLOWN!!!! LOLS..

I do see progress though..I think I will always have the mood swings but this was a relatively short lived episode..YAH..Ill pat myself on the back if I dont mind,..Nope I dont mind lols

msangeedepp wrote:I ACTUALLY JUST did that MIND BLOWN!!!! LOLS..

I do see progress though..I think I will always have the mood swings but this was a relatively short lived episode..YAH..Ill pat myself on the back if I dont mind,..Nope I dont mind lols

Don't feel bad. I'm still doing it myself about a few things. I'm improving though though too.

It's better that you keep em shortlived, it tends to make the number of them shorter than if you allow yourself longer to dwell on it. At least that's my experience.

I actually surprised myself on this one..

I just did the DBT observe the emotion and set in a few minutes and it passed,..

I was stoked...if you dont poke the proverbial bear, it leaves pretty quickly..


Just had a realization about how emotionally abusive "douchebag" was and like a fool, I let it happen..

but its all cool now..its aight!