Dating another BPD

I know how stupid I seem but I want to date a BPD. I feel like if I date someone like me then I'm safe and maybe we can help each other. I feel like if I date someone as fragile as I am that I won't get hurt as badly. I know that sounds selfish but I feel like no one truly understands BPD's only BPD's. I dont know what it's like to deal with someone like this but I feel like if I can see it from another human being then it'll put things into perspective.

I'm not sure of other people's experiences, and I haven't dated someone also with BPD, but I can just imagine the rage fests...That's enough to have me think twice about it.

Haha. That's funny. Guess I forgot all about that. Can't be that bad can it? Lol

To be honest, I'd imagine the emotional turbulence can be a problem. Though if you're both working on getting it under control and are well on your way, those emotions won't necessarily become a problem. To be honest though, you're probably not going to have it necessarily better or worse than a relationship with someone who isn't bpd. The lack of trust can be an issue though. Two people with trust issues can be a bad thing.

I would say this would depend on both the people, not their disorders.

A BPD and an empathetic, understanding non is a great combination.
Two BPDs who can be understanding towards each other and have enough control to keep from really setting off their partner.

And every other combination in the book. The disorder doesn't make the person, how the person learns to handle the disorder is what makes the person.
Don't look for a partner who has a certain disorder. Let someone who loves you and is willing to be there and help you be in your life, regardless of their mental state.

That's my thoughts anyways.

aliveatnight wrote:The disorder doesn't make the person, how the person learns to handle the disorder is what makes the person.
Don't look for a partner who has a certain disorder. Let someone who loves you and is willing to be there and help you be in your life, regardless of their mental state.

Well said!

my experience? blissfully painful. but i'd do it all over again.

I think this place is so effed up that its hard to find a good "normal" person who would want to actually be in a relationship with me when I have two kids with two different people and also have BPD. I've dated someone for almost four years but I cut him off because I thought someone else was more interested in me and I thought he deserved someone better. Now I was on and off again with my current ex for about two years and he was good at first until I was talking to someone else although nothing happened and things changed from there. He said he loves me and will stay with me until I get better and I believed it until yesterday he finally called it quits (again). I don't necessarily want to be with a BPD or another person with a mental illness I just want to be with someone who can accept me and not judge me and just be supportive and at the same time love me in doing so and also understand that I have BPD it doesn't have me and I'm trying to control it without letting it control me.

666ismynumber wrote:I just want to be with someone who can accept me and not judge me and just be supportive and at the same time love me in doing so and also understand that I have BPD it doesn't have me and I'm trying to control it without letting it control me.

Correct me if I am wrong,
but they (our partners... BPDs, NPDs, AsPDs, HPDs, NONs, normals)
they also want to be with someone who can accept them... do we accept them?
they also want to be with someone who does not judge them... do we judge them?
they also want to be with someone who is supportive... are we supportive?

cutting them off because we thought someone else was more interested in us...
talking to someone else although nothing happened...

is not acceptance, neither it is support...

“It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

ButHeartOfAnAngel wrote:

666ismynumber wrote:

Correct me if I am wrong,
but they (our partners... BPDs, NPDs, AsPDs, HPDs, NONs, normals)
they also want to be with someone who can accept them... do we accept them?
they also want to be with someone who does not judge them... do we judge them?
they also want to be with someone who is supportive... are we supportive?

cutting them off because we thought someone else was more interested in us...
talking to someone else although nothing happened...

is not acceptance, neither it is support...

Sorry if I messed up on the quote but that's where you are way wrong! I've dated a "normal" and I didn't leave him for those reasons you've listed. I left because I thought he deserved someone who didn't get angry for singing too loudly or not signaling before turning or chewing too loudly, I can go on and on. I'm not sure if you're BPD but not all of us are like that. Some BPD's leave a relationship for the better of the other person. How is any of what your listed in relation to my question? I didn't ask about other disorders because I can't relate and frankly I don't care. I simply stated what it would be like to date another BPD. No matter what the mental state, everyone wants to be loved and they'd be lying if they said otherwise but that's neither here nor there. I think you totally misconstrued my statement but thanks for the response