losing it

i can't do this anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm a ######6 burden to everyone around me. Nothing is going to get any better. I sound like a self pitying loser and that's exactly what i am my head has been racing for the past few days and i can't stop it i need to do something but i don't know what i'm so done with being up one minute and in absolute hell the next i just don't know what to do i'm trying not to do anything 'stupid' but i don't even think it's 'stupid' anymore i think it'll probably be the smartest thing ive ever done. ###$ this life.

Hey Ophelia,
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. I really hope that you're able to reach out for help in 3D. Have you ever tried calling a peer warm line, or crisis line? Sometimes those can be helpful to people to just talk and vent out what you're experiencing and come up with a plan to keep yourself safe for the moment.

Thanks
I'm trying to keep myself safe but i'm finding it so difficult at the moment. I cut myself badly today and now I feel so guilty about it. I don't like ringing them because I feel like an attention seeking time waster. I feel sort of comfortable ranting on here because nobody knows who i am and it doesn't really feel real. Sorry, I feel awful. I needed to get it out. Today has been terrible. Thank you for replying though.

get drunk, run, shout, go crazy on the punchingback, play the drums etc
but get a way to get it out
don't hold it in
helps for me

Thanks for the replies, it does help. My coping mechanisms suck.

do a quick google search and you will come up with webpages that list TONS of coping methods to try. https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sit ... rJJq--b7x0

In DBT you would try to focus on the ACCEPTS portion of distress tolerance

A Activities
C Contributing
C Comparisons
E Emotions - use opposite
P Pushing Away
T Thoughts
S Sensations

Something that I have been working on learning/accepting, is that these are distress TOLERANCE skills, not distress TAKE AWAY skills. I have to be reminded to be willing and not willful in actively using coping skills and sticking with them until the distress passes vs trying 1 and giving up saying, "Well that didn't work, and I'm using my coping skills!" Each one will help you get through specific moments, but won't stop you from being in distress. It's a difficult concept to learn and be willing to undertake.

Cheze2 I'm currently waiting for a referral for DBT. I know it will help me but it feels like i've been waiting forever and i've just been forgotten about which ends up triggering a bunch of thoughts and makes me feel like crap :S arg. sorry, i know everyone is trying to be helpful. I don't mean to throw things back in peoples faces. I just feel like giving up right now. I read through some of the links you posted and there are some decent ideas on there for when I feel like self harming. I have tried some of them. I want to help myself it's just so, SO difficult to get out of this cycle. I'm sure you know if you've been through it yourself. I am addicted to it. Distress tolerance sounds completely impossible right now. I just need my therapy to start. I'm trying to hold out for that but the past few days have just been so awful I don't know how. Sorry, I'm not trying to disregard anyones help or advice and I really appreciate you all taking the time to write to me.