Personalities of BPD people

youngidealist wrote:

Cheze2 wrote:I understand that you stated that you are not familiar with what classifies a personality disorder. I would argue however that with BPD there is much more going on besides just our moods. Perhaps if I boil things down immensely, I may be able to see slightly where you're coming from with this.

I had a point by point example written out, but I decided it wasn't appropriate. I just wanted to say that I disagree with this statement.

That's completely valid to disagree with me since I'm not a professional. Abnormal Psych is also the one topic that I've avoided taking out of my curiosity in psych ironically enough. Just to be a little clearer, I might have overgeneralized by suggesting that moods are the only problem for us, as I'm still learning and perhaps for all I know, the empty feeling and issues like it are not considered moods technically.

My primary point was more that the word 'personality' doesn't seem like an appropriate word to use in describing disorders at all, especially bpd. In the future I suspect that as more fine tuned differences are discovered even among those of us with bpd, new diagnosis will be derived and that word will be removed from practice at the same time.

Youngidealist you are loosing yourself in details. Things are not black or white and its the definition only. Try to limit your time of self or BPD analysing. There is no perfect world nor perfect people.

I find it very hard to describe myself as there as so many conflicting parts to my personality lol.

I think I have a tough exterior, I'm feisty and opinionated but inside there is a loving, caring, sensitive side which will do literally ANYTHING to help others. I can empathize to the point where I carry somebody else's pain as if it is my own.

I've never struggled to bag the man I want even though I have such self image issues. I'm clever, street wise and passionate about what I believe in.

When I write it out like that it sounds like I have a lot going for me lol but I'm currently in the middle of a crisis, suicidal, crying, basically a mess. So yeah I have a flawed personality!

maybewhoknows wrote:I find it very hard to describe myself as there as so many conflicting parts to my personality lol.

I think I have a tough exterior, I'm feisty and opinionated but inside there is a loving, caring, sensitive side which will do literally ANYTHING to help others. I can empathize to the point where I carry somebody else's pain as if it is my own.

I've never struggled to bag the man I want even though I have such self image issues. I'm clever, street wise and passionate about what I believe in.

When I write it out like that it sounds like I have a lot going for me lol but I'm currently in the middle of a crisis, suicidal, crying, basically a mess. So yeah I have a flawed personality!

Try not to be overly empathic. I understand you, sometimes pain of the others can hurt us more than our own, I believe it could be the early childhood experience and you felt somehow connectively responsible for somebody elses pain. Try to be empathic on the other side of the specturm too...

atomicuniverse wrote:To quote a friend:

"You know how (name removed) had done so much Cocaine that he stripped away some of his natural protective emotional layers? You're about halfway there. You have a few of your natural defenses, but have lost most of them. You present yourself in a very raw, direct way. Your feelings are direct, less-filtered, less gussied-up than most people. And while most people are capable of lying to themselves, you're just not... as far as I know. And it can lead to interpersonal conflict. But only interpersonal with complete tossers, so that's OK.

...

You're very hard on yourself. You set your standards very high, and life hasn't turned out quite that way. There is a sadness in you. I imagine that when you're wandering back from the stores in the middle of the night, you're probably a little down. You have faith in people, and people let you down. You had faith in life, and life let you down.

But you still have hope."

This post brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. I feel like I fit this description a good deal. It also makes me wonder what kind of person said it to you and what their personality was like. This individual sounds like someone with super-empathetic powers. I've been confronting the idea that BPD causes me to not lack empathy, but rather, when being empathetic, I can have great precision, but poor accuracy towards the feelings of others. For someone to read bpd and describe it in that way, assuming they don't have bpd themselves and are not a professional specializing in bpd, makes for awesome super power in my book.

Also, if you ever have the chance to make it so, I think that quote deserves to be in some sort of classic movie or novel some day.

newuser1980 wrote:Youngidealist you are loosing yourself in details. Things are not black or white and its the definition only. Try to limit your time of self or BPD analysing. There is no perfect world nor perfect people.

Wow, I'm usually the one suggesting doom and gloom about the future among my friends, but even I find that to sound very cynical.

I think I understand what you are getting at, as I'm coming to grips with where my thinking of extremes can be a problem. But, a lot of my extreme thinking has also been useful to me, so I'm not really thinking that it's always a problem. Something that I've been doing for years that's worked for me is allowing the extremes of my thoughts to converge at an equilibrium. I also try to see things as continuous changes along a dichotomy whenever I can make myself imagine it. Like a heat map of what represents aspects of reality.

If they never take the word 'personality' from bpd or my diagnosis, I'm not going to be upset. I'm not upset about it now. My motivation for even suggesting that it be changed eventually is along a similar argument of Socrates claiming to be a "gadfly" searching for the truth that he knows he'll never completely find. Just because there can't be a perfect world or perfect people doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to influence our world and people towards perfect ideals.

Or have I misunderstood your point?

Being a BPD female myself, having a BPD for a little brother, a BPD aunt and having had two BPD best friends from High School; I'd say that personality wise we can be pretty diverse. We can have different interests and different strengths. EX: My Aunt: Cheerleader/Straight A student/ Literature nut. My Brother: Video Game nerd/Hates School/Compassionate/Germophobic. ONE OF MY FRIENDS: Cowgirl/wants to be a Vet/With little to no common sense/very little book smarts. From the work I've done with my therapist, my Aunt (a mostly recovered Borderline), my own personal experiences and the research I have done myself; BPD isn't a disorder dealing with with a person's personality.
The issue lies more so with in the person's heightened sensitivity levels and inability to cope or inability to keep their emotions from ruling their actions. The only reason BPD is named as such is that the person's emotions are so strong and can go from one extreme to the other (Super overly happy to throwing things in a complete rage) that they seem like two different people.

Our personalities are different but that goes for any other person. Some people may have similar interests but we are all unique. BPDs do share the emotional issues and some share the draws to impulsive, life ruining behaviors. My Aunt has always told me that BPD is a choice. She chose to get help, she chose to go to therapy for four years, she went back to college and graduated, got remarried to an awesome guy, has two beautiful children, and lives a relatively normal life. Her secret is apparently keeping herself on a set and strict schedule and keeping her life organized. She tells me she still has her moments of weakness.

Back to the original topic (heh) I believe we are diverse. I am artistic, outspoken, dramatic, literature nut, caring, intelligent, and a little out there from time to time but that's me

atomicuniverse wrote:To quote a friend:

"You know how (name removed) had done so much Cocaine that he stripped away some of his natural protective emotional layers? You're about halfway there. You have a few of your natural defenses, but have lost most of them. You present yourself in a very raw, direct way. Your feelings are direct, less-filtered, less gussied-up than most people. And while most people are capable of lying to themselves, you're just not... as far as I know. And it can lead to interpersonal conflict. But only interpersonal with complete tossers, so that's OK.

You're a hippie that has swears she can't take hippies. You're an intellectual that feels. You care deeply about what other people think of you, even though you try not to.

Like a raw nerve ending, you have a strong sense of physical and emotional sensation. You experience the world more directly than most people. This makes you a very sensual person. But more than that, it brings you into the moment. Unfortunately, this diverts from the future planning and sacrifice part of your personality, which I can hear struggling to come to the front. That part of your personality is in direct conflict with the part that is still a research professor at a world-class university.

You're very hard on yourself. You set your standards very high, and life hasn't turned out quite that way. There is a sadness in you. I imagine that when you're wandering back from the stores in the middle of the night, you're probably a little down. You have faith in people, and people let you down. You had faith in life, and life let you down.

But you still have hope."

Errr, yeah.....hmmmm, sort of all of the above pretty much word for word. A tad confused now, was this person writing about me, do they know me? How? Why?
I should go for a bit now. Need to be getting my head round this. Bye.

Slightly off topic, but has anyone with BPD been able to figure out their MBTI personality type?

Since it is a personality disorder, do we include that side of us when figuring it out? I think the BPD interferes more with the inner two letters( N vs S and T vs F).

I'm always split right down the middle when it comes to T and F on tests and no one on the outside can help me because BPD overshadows things.

youngidealist wrote:

newuser1980 wrote:Youngidealist you are loosing yourself in details. Things are not black or white and its the definition only. Try to limit your time of self or BPD analysing. There is no perfect world nor perfect people.

Wow, I'm usually the one suggesting doom and gloom about the future among my friends, but even I find that to sound very cynical.

I think I understand what you are getting at, as I'm coming to grips with where my thinking of extremes can be a problem. But, a lot of my extreme thinking has also been useful to me, so I'm not really thinking that it's always a problem. Something that I've been doing for years that's worked for me is allowing the extremes of my thoughts to converge at an equilibrium. I also try to see things as continuous changes along a dichotomy whenever I can make myself imagine it. Like a heat map of what represents aspects of reality.

If they never take the word 'personality' from bpd or my diagnosis, I'm not going to be upset. I'm not upset about it now. My motivation for even suggesting that it be changed eventually is along a similar argument of Socrates claiming to be a "gadfly" searching for the truth that he knows he'll never completely find. Just because there can't be a perfect world or perfect people doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to influence our world and people towards perfect ideals.

Or have I misunderstood your point?

I was not cynical not a little. I was on a similar path being all melancholic and feeling empty. I was an idealist too, but than through PA I realized, this is just the escape from true me. Being an "idealist" often means, you are just hypersensitive and expect that the people would act such as your standards are. Its kind of selfish. I believe sometimes you are a little to harsh to yourself. You should accept things as they are and try to live with it. If you judge the world concerning wars or hunger, you probably dont see how much volunteer work is made every hour. You dont see how many people tend to help the whales on the cost. You dont see when people smile, but only when they suffer.

I have a lot of similarities to people who have already posted here...

Bit of a hippy. Very loving and affectionate, have very strong political opinions, a very strong sense of justice, I like things to be pretty so I'll spend ages decorating rooms or my uni folders or making candles and jewellery. I love music, I'm a singer and when i listen to music I like I find it very hard not to get emotionally involved in it, sometimes i listen to the same track on repeat for hours like its put me in some kind of emotional trance or something, lol.
I love animals and nature, and I think i have more of a connection with animals than I do with people.
Apparently there is something cute about me - "cute" is a word people nearly always use to describe me, even when I'm trying very hard to come across tough. Being seen as powerful and independent is really important to me even though i dont think that I really am...

yeah, that about sums me up...not much there really.hhaha. xx

-- Sun Mar 03, 2013 12:29 pm --

I guess I'm quite outspoken too - if there's something going on that shouldnt be, i'm always the one calling someone up on it. If something needs to be said i'll say it - and I'm good at cutting through the crap. I'm very eloquent, which makes me a good arguer. Its rare that someone will win a debate against me, especially if its about something i really care about...