BDP or no?

Dear forum,
I've created an account on this site to get some input on a failed relationship. I'm in no way shape or form claiming that I myself don't have my own issues, but I need some advice from those who have lived through an experience like this. I'm 30 years old and this was believe it or not my first serious relationship. I met a girl about two years ago. I fell for her real quick, and i realized that i wanted to pursue a serious relationship with her. She sat through my 4 hour graduation ceremony with my family so i figured if she could put up with that, she was a keeper haha. This is where the humor will dry up. I began to discover her past: Parents divorced due to infidelity(her mother cheated), a father who frequented rehab due to drugs and alcohol, and a general sense of not belonging to her family or anywhere really.

We were together for around 2 months and one day I got a message on facebook from some guy who i never met before...turns out it was her ex boyfriend prior to me. He told me to "tread lightly and to call him" cause he had something to tell me. That i did.. I was troubled at the time, because she asked for some space which really confused me. After talking to him for 5 minutes I found out that she had cheated on me with him. Thats right... he told me, not her. He mentioned that she would of never told me so he felt like he had to...(no doubt a bit vindictive) Needless to say we split up and I went to Europe for a month to "clear my head". While overseas I couldn't stop thinking about the what could of been and what she was up to. After i returned from my trip we immediately started hanging again and we both picked up where we had left off proceeding with caution.

I began to notice that she was still in contact with her ex...which i had a hard time dealing with and understanding. Texts..calls..she kept him on her facebook etc... All of which she brushed off as him just being annoying. Let it be known that we were a bit rocky and she understood very well that this bothered me so i asked her to block his number. Fast forward a few months...I received a phone call from her one night, only to discover that her father had committed suicide. I jumped in my car, drove to her aunts house across the street from her place and paced for 4 hours waiting to comfort her. I loved this woman and I wanted to be there for her, just as I believed she would have been for me.

Her fathers suicide was extremely difficult for her, me and our relationship. At that moment i decided that i loved her and would continue being there for her throughout these dark times. She stayed over my place on average 5 or so nights a week for a long time and i urged her to get counseling to which she declined. I noticed that she didn't seem to want to help herself. I had no idea what she was going through as much as i tried. We split up several times due to the stress. The suicide, her inability to keep her ex out of her life, etc..

Last June, we decided to go out west for two weeks to get our relationship back on the right track. The night before we left i found a text message from HIM saying " i love you too. I love you for who you are. Don't ever change." We fought and decided to go on the trip anyways...(very dumb move); however, the trip went flawless and i thought that she was finally ready to get rid of this "friend" and move on. She explained it by saying she needed to talk to someone who knew her prior to his suicide to see if it had changed her. Two days after we returned from the trip i caught her coming off of the highway..i asked her where she was..she lied, gave me fake numbers and made me feel like an a**. Turned out she was hanging out with him...two days after we got back from a trip where we spent 24 hours a day together. She told me she loved me and I was led to believe that everything was good.

We split up on October 10th and this time i completely cut my connection with her. On average she would send me 10-20 texts a day as well as 10-20 missed calls. She was freaking out.. I took a few weeks to clear my head and decided to give it another try. We hooked up occasionally and she began using that against me saying hurtful things like "you're just using me for sex." and telling me she felt like she couldn't talk to me nor trust me. Needless to say, I was there for her throughout november and december cause i knew she would be going through a hard time with the anniversary or her fathers death and the holidays being right around the corner. We even spent NYE together in NY at a nice little B & B. Everything seemed good again and we were getting along again. About a week or so after we got back from the B & B, she added him back on facebook. I flipped out and she started hanging out with his best friend(a guy who she knew i disliked due to some disrespect he gave me), I believe she did it out of spite, but she denied anything of the sort.

She was unwilling to make any sort of sacrifices for me when it seemed at the time that all i ever did was sacrifice for her. I was there for her throughout her darkest days and i only wanted to be respected and loved in return. My family hated her for what she put me through. My friends despised her.. it was bad. Its almost like things would be good then she would do the one thing that drove me nuts, contact her ex. After going through 2-3 weeks of me blowing her off, she came back to me, only to tell me she was planning on moving out west for an undetermined amount of time, hanging with her ex and his best friend and generally acting like she had no conscience of my feelings or well being.

Her relationships that i know of:

Boyfriend 1: She lived with him when she was 17...he cheated on her with the neighbors daughter.
Boyfriend 2: She also lived with him.. he cheated on her..she met someone new.
Boyfriend 3: She was close with the family, but cheated on him with her previous bf.
Boyfriend 4: He cheated on her and left her when he went to school. Her friends always told me he kept her on a string and they never understood why she kept going back. This is the guy she cheated on my with. She has kept the both of us in the dark about a lot. She was dating him when she met me.
Boyfriend 5: He was emotionally vulnerable and weak. She stepped on him and broke his heart. He has said things to her like " i hope you die of your endometriosis." "you're a product of your father." regardless of these nasty things he has said to her, she still returned to him, using him as a ploy to get back with her previous ex.
ME: unwilling to sacrifice or budge, claims she loved me, but never really showed it. She never felt comfortable around my family after she cheated on me. It broke my heart.

I'm having an extremely difficult time with this and it's led me to therapy for the first time in my life. The reason why I've decided to post this in this forum, is because my therapist told me she is a prime candidate for BPD. She has told me she loves being loved and needs it. I think its because of her crappy relationship with her family, in particular her father, but then again I'm not a psychologist.

thanks for the input,
Saint of Circumstance