Getting therapy... getting a diagnosis... maybe?

Hey. I am getting invited to a first therapy session to determine what my problem is... On Monday at last. I want to write down my problems to not waste the time of the therapist. I mean, what my problems are. And important stuff.

I hope i can at least get SOME diagnosis. The ONLY diagnosis i EVER got wasn't from a specialist.

Any tips you have for me?

maybe just list all the things which you most want to be solved in your life, and try to stay calm and i know this sounds silly but just try not to worry too much, because even if they do not give you a diagnosis they are still there to help you solve the things that are troubling you, i hope this helped : )

It would be a good idea to just write down the things that are bothering you in life, problems you are having trouble overcoming etc, usually though with my experiences with therapists is the first session is all about you talking about your history and weather or not you have mental illness in your family etc.,it's really an introduction. Like taking a physical before an operation.

Hey thanks everyone.

My current advice from experience is "do you really want one"? I've found most people i know with PD dxes see their PD as a long term thing that has to be managed. Most either won't or don't know how, or have no idea its possible to pull everything(meaning problems) right down to the basics and rebuild.

I've changed a lot in the past few years and while I still have some work to do, I feel almost as if I don't want a PD label because it seems the NHS doesn't assist people in doing what I've been doing, and the label is often used to create negative connotations etc - i guess my thoughts are that its possible i'm better off without the label and would do better with labels like "CPTSD without primary ptsd features",dissociative disorder,recovering from childhood attachment disorder, etc. Labelling the individual symptoms instead of using a PD label to explain the over all problem.

I don't know why - I've tended to be the kind of person who'd stand up and say, "well that's cause you're wrong about how you approach PD", but I'm also greedy and want to have my cake and eat it.

have you seen this yet thejan? i highly recommend printing, circling which apply to you and bringing it with you:

http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/ ... raits.html


good luck monday!

my diagnosis is bipolar... on the 22. i go to a psychiatrist to get me on meds..

you cool with that? or do you think you need further convo with the dr about what you think you have??

It's ok. I talked online with someone i trust very much on this kind of stuff... and she said that you seldom only have one illness, but the classification is important for medical treatment... and maybe it is good to know a name for the "beast" inside you... but in the end feelings stay feelings and you have to live with them with or without a name for what you have...

.... on second thought, i am NOT ok with it. I don't think i have bipolar. Or only bipolar.

I should have never gone there, i mean they are going to give me a diagnosis and then i won't be able to get into nursing because of my illness.

As i understand it, bipolar is caused by hormonal changes in the brain. I don't think it is just hormones with me. I am not just ill!
I am not ok. It is my fault that i am like this. It is not the fault of some stupid hormones! Giving away the responsibility for my well-being feels awful. It feels like i am a slave.

If i am bipolar, how am i ever going to trust myself again? I mean, is what i think about myself even real? If so, how can i EVER know who i am? That's awful. If i can't know who i am, i don't see much sense anymore in living. If this is true then i want to die.

I mean, if it's my fault, then it might not be nice, but at least that is a challenge or something i can work on. If it is some stupid hormones... then what am i going to do?
I want to be free at last. I want to be able to decide what i think. I don't want to let some hormones decide who i am.

I WANT TO LIVE. YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS DAMN DIAGNOSIS I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE ANYWAYS. MAYBE MEDS HELP MAYBE NOT. I DON'T CARE I JUST WANT TO BE ALIVE.

What is living? How does that feel? I don't know. I don't care. I am afraid. I don't know if i want to live or not.
No. I do care. My whole "I don't care" attitude is that of a child rebelling against its parents.

I just don't understand. I have delusional thinking.
My delusional thinking involves:
A.The belief that there is no "real" freedom. (Or is freedom a delusion???)
B.The belief that i am at fault for everything bad that has happened to me.
C.The belief that destiny plots against me. (I seem to be switching between B and C)
D.The belief that i am at fault for my mothers diabetes. (Or is this real? I cannot tell)
E.The belief that love does not exist. (Or is it a delusion to think love exists????)
F.The belief that "real" emotions do not exist. (What IS an emotion? I mean, do emotions really exist
G.The belief that everything is fake.
H.Am i still living? Do i even exist?
I. Sometimes i believe in having magical capabilities? Or that i am in contact with higher beings? (It is very painful to me to admit this, i haven't told the psychologist this)... i also believe (and from my observations it's true!) that i am able to influence people by thinking things and looking them in the eyes. Errr... Ok.

I just don't know what to think anymore. I don't believe in any higher authority who can tell me what to think either, and if there is someone, they are probably idiots.
At least... sometimes.

The thing that unnerves me... is that i don't just cycle from "high" to "low"... i cycle between all kinds of emotions. Love, hate, anger, boredom, interest, sympathy.... plus, my mood swings don't last longer than a few hours tops. Sometimes just a few minutes.

I wasn't even diagnosed by a "real" psychologist. I thought she was, but in reality... she was a normal doctor with an additional certificate. I am going to have a talk with the psychiatrist... the "normal doctor" wasn't even sure about what kind of therapy would help me. I hope to finally get diagnosed correctly.