Do you tend to feel like you have an alter ego?

I'm not sure if alter ego is the right word here, it's more like two personalities, but I can't think of another word for it.

Sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) I feel like I have an alter ego. There is one me, who is shy, self conscious, almost passive, and calm. This me is devoted to her boyfriend and wants to settle down with him at some point, and longs for the stability of a family life. The other me is aggressive, almost cocky, flirtatious, and has quite a temper. This other me would rather have flirt or have flings with men then settle down with someone.

I think the person who has to deal with the two sides of my personality the most is definitely my boyfriend, just the other day I completely lost it with him for just a small thing, and lashed out and tried to push him away as much as possible. After I had gotten it all out I felt so guilty and apologized, and tried to pull him back so to speak. I also struggle with the fact that I feel attracted to other men even though I love him. I have never cheated on him nor do I actually have feelings for other people, it is more that I need them to be attracted to me, if that makes sense.. I seek that high of having someone have feelings for me.

Finding out that I have BPD is recent for me, so I am just trying to figure out if others feel like this too?

I czn totally relate to that feeling of having more than one personality, but I tend to call them personas. There's the Alexander at school and work who is sociable, chatty, talks to everyone and knows everyone, isn't shy and acts silly, makes jokes, etc. i know ot's not who I am, though, because at the end of the day I'm exhausted having had to pretend all day.

With my friends, I go between loving, sweet, generous,... and angry, mean and sometimes even aggressive (never aggressive to people, though, more toward inanimate objects.

At the same time, neither of those feels like the real me, but I have no idea who that is either...

-- Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:00 pm --

I czn totally relate to that feeling of having more than one personality, but I tend to call them personas. There's the Alexander at school and work who is sociable, chatty, talks to everyone and knows everyone, isn't shy and acts silly, makes jokes, etc. i know ot's not who I am, though, because at the end of the day I'm exhausted having had to pretend all day.

With my friends, I go between loving, sweet, generous,... and angry, mean and sometimes even aggressive (never aggressive to people, though, more toward inanimate objects.

At the same time, neither of those feels like the real me, but I have no idea who that is either...

Sounds like just another part of the identity issues pwBPD face. At least that's what I always thought.
Of course I usually react to people the way they want/expect me to, so that differs a lot, but I think that just has to do with the fact that I want to please everyone.

But I do tend to feel like I have an "evil" "alter" and a "good" one, my bad side always sabotaging my life and being selfish and all that, and my good side being the nice innocent girl who just wants to do the right thing at all costs. I've always known that I have quite opposing character traits - like, I am lazy, but also kinda perfectionistic at times.

I think you have to accept that what you see as "alter ego" is just a part of your complex personality.
We all struggle with the question of who we are, but to me accepting that you can indeed be both (like sweet AND agressive) sounds like a good idea. Someone's personality's bound to be complext, right? We are complex beings, after all. Just my point of view.

funny...i just blamed it on being a gemini!

Heavens yes!
I just wrote something down last night about feeling like there was two of me.
I personally have the angry girl, the irritable girl, come out a lot more. She's the protector. She keeps my other side's hopes and dreams real. She tough talks her and makes her realize how hard she needs to work to even be relatively respectable, and is the one who is always hard on the other side. The other side is a shy, clingy, needy side that hides most of the time because she's been suppressed for so long. It's the side that wants to say, "I need you," "I love you," "I need help," etc but has learned not to for fear of being failed again. That's what causes me to have my really bad lonely nights that results in impulsive actions to try and get rid of the pain.

I think I have a Jeckyl/Hyde personality, or to be simplistic, a good side and a bad side. It makes it almost impossible for people to understand me or clearly read me because it makes me contradictory in personality and behavior.

Unfortunately I don't know which one is the real me.

There must be 2 of me. Hell if there isnt 2 of me who do i keep talking to all the time. F---er wont go away.

Anyone heard of the inner child theory? You should perhaps look at that, although it's obviously only a theory, to me it makes some sense. I guess that's an alter ego of sorts?!

Yes i've heard of the inner child thing. My second ex wife was into her inner child thing and hitting pillows with bats. My first wife had evil as her alter self. Not the kind of women you make angery and then fall asleep around. I suspect we all have others inside us, we just arent afraid to think its normal.

I just get mood swings. I relate, but I wouldn't call it a different personality or an alter ego. At least for me anyway. I get multiple mood swings through out the day, to the point where it feels like I can't trust my own emotions anymore. Anyway, when I'm on an upswing I'm really confident. I feel invincible. I don't even recognize my short comings, I just go out and do things as though nothing is holding me back. When I'm on the down swing, I hate myself and I feel pathetic and I want nothing to do with the world.