BPD? Please help me...

I'll try to keep this short. I need a solution if anyone has one...

I broke up with my ex girlfriends a while ago--had to leave the state I was in just to be far enough away from her to leave her alone and make sure I never talked to her again.

I get to this new city where I don't know anyone. Last night I go on a date with a girl from an internet dating site. We have fun, we hook up a little but don't have sex. She says she'll text me tomorrow (now today) and we'll hang out again. She seems all about it. I know things might have moved too fast but she was into it.

Today, she doesn't text me so I hit her up basically saying I can hang out if she gets back to me within an hour or so because she lives a little ways away.

The details of all this really aren't that important, what's important it how upset I am over this seemingly innocuous event. Maybe she is busy, maybe she is just a space cadet and doesn't return messages. But I can't help but feel like $#%^ over it. I lost all the energy I had gained, I was in a good mood earlier today and throughout the day, but as soon as I felt that sting of rejection I got zapped... I want to cry. I JUST MET HER YESTERDAY. I feel so stupid for getting upset like this.

I was diagnosed with BPD a few months ago and didnt think I really qualified but this whole event is making me rethink that... I guess what I would ask the forum is if there is anyone here that can identify with this AND is this indicative of BPD? I just feel like I will never meet anyone as hot as my ex, I can't even get with this girl who for me is a 6 or 7 (but would have been a good rebound). I didn't want to date her or anything, I never had delusions about a long term relationship (like i've read typical BPD people have)--I just wanted to hook up with her and maybe go on some casual dates.

I don't know what else to say, if I need to clarify anything please let me know. I am dying inside here I don't want this rejection to turn into a drug use binge (have reacted that way in the past--it's like if I can't get the validation I need from the girl I'll just get obliterated on drugs so I don't care). I'm lonely. I only have 1 friend in this new town and it's a fat girl (sorry to anyone with weight issues I just need to be honest)--for some reason this makes me feel worse about myself. Like that's the best I can do. I can tell she's interested in dating me but I don't want anything to do with it.

To me, my ex was the best I've ever gotten and the best I'll ever get. Even the rejections or non-responses from the super hot girls on these internet dating sites are starting to get to me...the best I can get to respond are decent looking 6's . ###$ my self esteem, but WHY? I know logically that none of this should matter. I'm bound to find someone eventually and if I don't it shouldn't be this big of a deal...

And now this is getting really long so in the hopes that one of you will actually read it I'll leave it at that. I know this sounds super crazy and I'm sorry it's so disjointed I'm just struggling to put it all together...

Thanks..looking forward to your thoughts.

Well, as far as your dating preferences... looks are only skin deep, as they say.

I see a bit of attachment and the fear of rejection thing is pretty strong. I feel you with the loneliness thing, though - I look forward to work because the social interaction it better than nothing (even if I am anxious about it all the time, lol), maybe getting a job where you'll get out and about? You need to keep yourself busy so some girl doesn't become your night and day - and as for the girl, give her a bit of time to absorb the night's events. Get up and do something to take your mind off of it.

All I can suggest is stop looking to replace the EX, have a little you time, go out find some guys to be friends with get drunk, watch football or whatever guys do..
Everyone comes along when you're not looking, seriously!! It's just the way it goes... You get into a new relationship and BAMN you've got 8 people after you.
Same with waiting for buses, none are there, you turn your back for a moment about to walk away and then 10 arrive and you get your choice of the direction you want to go in.

Stop looking, let them find you!!