Not going to lie.I'm afraid of going 2 class right now.

Hijo de pujia!,Como me cahie MAL esa classe del HTML!.Como PUCHICA se haga la p---- tadia en esa classe!.Yo a escuchado al professor que no es mucho para cer una convsersacion "engaging".Y despues esta ese tontedo greso de un libro.Que mentida que diceron que "Hay este es un beun programma para los que tienen nada de experienca" y despues discovro como enjodos son los professores y como todovia debil es mi mente para *discubrir* y recuredar >_< ; las cosas de que hablan.A la puchicha es tan debil y atrabado mi mente que solo sepa em un modo de pensar.El modo de ejemplos.Ejemplos,ejempos,ejemplos y la p---- que es tan nuevo a mi---- *"esfuerzo"*.Y un nuevo enimigo que yo encontro--tiempo -_-.


;_; La verdad!.Como p--- puedo fregar algo que ya viene como "pre-preparado" para mi?.

Ada if your reading this I'm sorry again about writing this in Spanish.I was using a computer in a place with a lot of ppl who could've seen what I was writing had I wrote it in English.The entry is a reaction 2 the rage that fomented in me after seeing a 0.5/10 I got on a dang HTML assignment >_<.If you need a translation I'll be okay to provide one but not at the exact moment of when this entry was submitted.

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Translation:

"Son of a biff!,How that HTML [*]falls bad on me!.How the FLIP do you do that f---r homework in class!.I've listened to the teacher who isn't much for "engaging" converation.And then there's this thick stupidity of a book.What a lie it was when they say "Oh this is a good program for those who don't have experience in it" and then I found out how angry the teachers are and how still feeble my mind is to "discover" and remember >_< ; the things they say.Dang it my mind is so feeble and trapped that it only knows of one way to think.The way of examples.Examples,examples,examples and the s--- that is so new to me *effort*.I the new enemy I've found--time -_- .

;_; Really!.How the f--- can I screw something up that already comes "prepared" for me?.[There I was referring to the files for my HTML homework]."

[*]It comes from a particular Spanish language phrase "me cahie mal" reffering to when things make you very angry (usually because of how grating they are) and but that I mean like "blood simmering" angry.

Okay the teacher took up a practise mid-term and I'm quite flippin scared of it.Not as much as I thought I would since it now seems that,that stuff might seem miracously understandable to me in just a week even with that d--- HTML book and junk to slog thru -_-.Still flippin distant a goal if there ever was one.

If I do bad this semester and get scold by the instructors then that will just prove what I thought of them all along."Your proving what I'm saying!",I remember is something that I used to yell to my dad in particular when I argued with them years ago.It's odd how my school counselor says that this negative thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy.Maybe that's what the "Your proving what I'm saying!" was and is all along.However the way I interpret it (naive and silly though it sounds) is that if I did have a self-fulfilling prophecy ability then good things would happen to me as easily as negative thoughts are an automatic default mode for me.It's like I would have a "magical" ability to actually have things I want to happen,happen.That's obviously not the case though and bad things are ALWAYS much easier to happen whether I like it or not.So much so that I don't really put that much effort and don't see the worth of trying to imagine good things happening.So often I feel like I'm an agent of deconstruction and chaos not one of cumulative building and growth.