The pevious entry was meant to be "I have underwent for the past 1 [year] and something months"...

I have realized how I am a creature of impulse,craving,desire and hate.I talked over it with my brother. I'm going to change the motor of aggression. Hate's inverse a common conflation with love,desire is for sure in me. It's one reason I get called "passionate" sometimes when I'm going on, about something. Even if a few grains of salt here and there have popped up that doesn't mean having been loud,obsessive and ranty were good things.

To make a 180 degree shift to being peaceful either as I thought I could is not something I can go so "go to" like. I think I can "do neutral" `_` before going into positiveness. Life isn't complicated,it's full of desicions. I should not complain for having to make those desicions.There are ppl here to help me and who see me like the moderators of this forums,who's presence I am thankful for.

I can proceed to other places for answers as well,like I've been doing and ..life's movement unbridled is not exclusive of me..

Cravings,intellectual cravings and fear are two things that cause me to be self-absorbed. The latter ...
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I read on this wikipedia article that ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin-type_ichthyosis )

<Nusrit "Nelly" Shaheen (born 1984) is the oldest known survivor with the condition; she lives in the UK, and was one of nine children. Four of her eight siblings also suffered from the condition but died as young children. Shaheen lives an active lifestyle and in 2008 was studying sports coaching and leadership at Hereward College.[4][7]

Hunter Steinitz (born 1994) is one of only twelve Americans suffering from the disease and is profiled on the National Geographic "Extraordinary Humans: Skin" special.[8]

Ryan Gonzalez (born 1986)[9] is the oldest person in the United States living with the disease. He was featured in an episode of Medical Incredible.

Stephanie Turner (born 1992)[10] is the second oldest person in the United States living with the disease, and the first ever to give birth. Turner's son does not have the disease.>


Are all ppl who've actually survived Harlequin type ichtyosis.If you look up any of those ppl ,you'll see that aside from bright colored skin they're fine '_' .... ._. now knowing that those four ppl are examples of ppl who've grown up fine with the condition it makes think back to the "Mortal Kombat:rebirth" trailer I saw years ago

(1:08-2:03 ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGnVh...outu.be&t=1m8s

where surviving Harlequin type ichtyosis is the reason given for the appearance of the ~30 yr old character "Reptile" and an added factor to the "monstrous" actions he does like eat decapitated heads is terribly inaccurate,insulting and disrespectful >:I . Had the makers of the trailer known that it can survived maybe things would have been done differently.

This reminds me of how stuff like being conjoined in a parapagus (pelvis sharing) way like how Abigail and Brittany Hensel are like giving the *appearance* of looking "dicephalic".

The reasonable explanation of having to your pelvis shared by your twin,your spines very close to one another and yet still being to graciously be alive is I think a cultural origin point for the myths and lore about polycephalic (.i.e. *many-headed* >:/ ) beings and creatures much like how for a long-time ppl with hypertrichosis were treated and seen badly as sideshow spectacles.

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The part from the "Derrida for beginners" by Jim Powell book (pgs.162-164)--what was presented after saying (paraphrasing) " that Derrida had to contend with deconstructing emotion for the first time since his childhood"--the tertralemma from the Madhayamika school of Buddhism founded by Nagarjuna. The figures drawn to dialogue out the tetralemma were a "wind-cloud" like demon head and a figure which I take to be Nagarjuna.

..(pgs.162-164)..

"

A: And that leads to a Buddhist criticism of deconstruction. Madhyamika (Middle-Way) Buddhism is a form of Buddhism that uses some of the same arguements as deconstruction,often angering and confusing both Hindus and other Buddhists with its deconstructive logic. For instance the Middle-way statement that 'The Buddha does not teach anything to anyone at any place' (EE 207), does not deny the historical reality of the Buddha,but questions the seeming [u]thingness[/u] of things, people and places. Like Derrida, the Madhyamakins have been accused of nihilism--of teaching nothing exists. But, as a couple of Madhyamika sayings have it, 'When a [b]thing[/b] is not found, how can there be a no[b]thing[/b]?' (EE 207) Or "I do not negate any[b]thing[/b], nor is there any[b]thing[/b] to negate' ( EE 207)

Nagarjuna: Are you created by yourself?

Demon:No. How could I create myself?

Nagarjuna: Well then, are you created by something other than yourself ?

Demon: How could anything else possibly create me?

Nagarjuna: Then, are you created both by yourself and by something other than yourself?

Demon: Don't be ridiculous!

Nagarjuna: Then, are you created neither by yourself nor by something other than yourself?

Demon: Then I would be created by nothing and that's impossible.

Nagarjuna: Yes it is true. The demon is gone. Where it once was is only emptiness.

(Former demon-a white circle with a black outline talking): Then I cannot locate you logically, so, logically, you must not exist! You are empty of inherent existence! You are empty !.

Nagarjuna: And even emptiness is empty !!!

.....

What brought me to tears last time does not do that again but is still worth re-seeing from time to time;what brought me to tears last time does not do that again and I sit with a "inaction regret-curiousty" of questioning myself about whether I should of gotten the stuff on deconstructive psychotherapy as well. Life is meant to be simple and uncluterred with the unneccesary to be healthy though so whether or not they'll be a next time when I can put that up ,I can be assured I know where to look and find the things I desire, I crave to write from others .

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From wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetralemma

"The tetralemma is a figure that features prominently in the classical logic of India. It states that with reference to any a logical proposition X, there are four possibilities:

X (affirmation)
~ X (negation)
X /\ ~ X (both) equiv.
~ (X V ~X) (neither)

Catuskoti

The history of fourfold negation, the Catuskoti (Sanskrit [ is a logical argument(s) of a 'suite of four discrete functions' or 'an indivisible quaternity' that has multiple applications]), is evident in the logico-epistemological tradition of India, given the categorical nomenclature 'Indian logic' in Western discourse. Subsumed within the auspice of Indian logic, 'Buddhist logic' has been particularly focused in its employment of the fourfold negation, as evidenced by the traditions of Nagarjuna and the Madhyamaka, particularly the school of Madhyamaka given the retroactive nomenclature of Prasangika by the Tibetan Buddhist logico-epistemological tradition. "
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`u` My awe,an encouraging awe.

Addendum to the quote on Nagarjuna's tetralemma


"Through meditation, the Madhyamika Buddhist will first of all try to deconstruct her own painful emotions--such a anger. Attacked by the deconstructive logic of Buddhism, painful emotions taper off to nothing--just like a Zen riddle.

If the meditator cannot logically "find the emotion--the anger--it will disappear. Where it once was, suddenly, "POOF!"-- there is only emptiness. And once a particular anger, for instance, has been found to be empty, then it becomes easier to realize the emptiness of "other things." Then the meditator may realize: "This is not my beautiful house!" " This is not my beautiful car!" "This is not my beautiful wife!" "All these things are empty!" For, like "differance," "emptiness" is not a concept,idea or thing--but a tool for deconstructing clinging, even clinging to the concept of "emptiness". It follows that there must be no sense of needing to defend the doctrine of emptiness, for intellectual clinging is one of the worst forms of suffering. One should see the emptiness even of emptiness. Thus the meditator finds that there is no underlying basis for any emotion, experience or viewpoint--and with nothing to grasp, the mind is free." --"Derrida for beginners" by Jim Powell (pg.165)

"^_^ Ah,my impatience when not saying a previous post get put up!. My gratitude as usual to you Ada. Esp.for the font formatting which I didn't even know could be done here .

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/funny-groundhog-day-10.jpg

I might not be getting word about a groundhog soon but ya know what?. It really seems that for the first time in my more improve-dly self-aware life I've gone thru a November which doesn't have dreariness befitting Coldplay's "Violet Hill".

<thinking about exams>-"I will do my best".