I'm feeling quite nostalgic right now over everything I have experienced in the past decade, especially with media. The problem is, I feel quite sad and empty whenever I experience my past again, because I feel that I've missed out on the time I feel nostalgia for by not taking it in wholly and forgetting it (granted, this was my childhood; I was aroound 14-15 before 2012, when I kinda fell into a depression after losing my files, and out of anger, decided to delete more files from my phone as well as what I've lost from my flash drive; I tend to collect images and HTML pages from the Internet for personal use) and the fact that the reality is very different, and as a result, I try to avoid coming into contact with everything from the past no matter how much I want it (or not). I also feel sad if I can't find things on the internet I used to enjoy (which may have been once there).
Sadly, I may have forgotten some of the things I used to enjoy.
I liked last decade, because the music sounded way more rich and colourful than this decade's music; I could say the same thing in terms of fashion and design trends. Somehow, I feel I can't claim the 2010s as my own; the only reason why I still appreciate it is because of its improving science (I have a love-hate relationship with Internet and technology, as video games are somewhat blander and are published by greedy companies, and the online gameplay experience isn't helping anyone; the Internet tends to change around and even close down websites; smartphones don't have many good games and can only boast good Internet access and improved usability) and I don't want to die a slow and painful death or induce paralysis if I try to shoot myself in the back of the head. I'm also scared that in the next life (if there comes another Big Bang, even though the Universe is set to end forever according to Wikipedia), I might be born as prey to another creature, an animal incapable of human traits and/or an animal with a short lifespan.
I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on this.
NOTE: I'm also putting this up on my blog so I can refer back to it again at some point.