it's been about a week since i've been chatting with these guy that wants to experiment with men. he's a year older than me and is aware of my issues. there's a big chance we might end up actually doing something. we exchanges lots of erotic messages. but today he proposed that we turned on our cams and masturbated. i couldn't resist and said yes. we masturbated a little, then he said he didn't want to keep going, because showing ourselves like that could ruin some of the magic of when we meet irl. and then i realized that i agree with him, and got to thinking about how i've created this online character that is so different from myself, knows no passion, no boundaries, no poetry. he is pretty much a sexual object. this might have ruined our chances, idk (his reasons might actually different), but it made me happy that he said that, both because of what i realized and because it showed that we both share a lot, and that he will see past the kinky online me. what have i done to myself?