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Re: Second Thanksgiving without my dad by Snaga on Fri Nov 25, 2022 4:34 am
Hoping you had a great Turkey Day <3

Re: Wish I could overcome my shame (trigger warning) by Snaga on Wed Nov 23, 2022 4:41 am
I'm not sure which outcome I'd find less enviable. The person who fetishises the abuse, or the person who reacts as you have. Assuming the person who incorporates the abuse into their sex life does have a sense of proportion- such as someone who was into incest stories or incest role-play with another consenting adult that is not actually an incestuous relationship, I'd say... I'd prefer to be that person, than the one who finds only disgust in themselves because of it, such as you find yourself. To me, as messed up as my chosen theoretical option might be viewed, it's.. taking control of it. But you're not interested in sex. So... how to take control of it? That's the part I can't quite work out, since you're sort of asexual because of the abuse. How for you to own it? I'm not sure. Coming at it as someone with OCD, all I can say is keep reminding yourself it's NOT YOUR FAULT, and call BS on any thoughts to the contrary. As a person with OCD, I have to remember at times that I'm not my thoughts, they don't reflect my Id. I get all sorts of intrusive thoughts, mostly thoughts of harming others. and I've had to teach myself that it's a bunch of bull. Lest those thoughts get the better of me and I obsess over having them. Or sexual thoughts- pedophile obsessions are pretty common in OCD, and when an intrusive thought comes along that I would want to do something to a child, I call bullcrap on it lest I find myself obsessing over it and worrying I'm something I'm not. Not that you have OCD, but... unwanted thoughts are still unwanted thoughts. And if practicing a good deal of not caring about having the thoughts, because I'm not my thoughts, can help me, then maybe the same sort of strategy can help you. If I were approaching this from an OCD point of view, myself, I would remind myself every time I get tempted to feel self-disgust, that it just ain't on me, and I'm not a bad person no matter how much my brain screams it at me, and thinking I'm some shameful creature doesn't make me one. I'd be shameful, if I did what my dad did, and I'm not my dad, so, yeah no not going to be shameful, thank you very much but no, I think I'll pass on that. It's a matter of reprogramming, you see. You understand that sex feels good to a child, and well you're right about cunnilingus being darn intense and you're not a robot, sweetie- how else are you supposed to have responded, without an adult's sensibilities? Therefore, call BS on the feelings of shame and disgust, and keep calling BS on them no matter how you feel at the time about it. Thoughts of shame and disgust will have to pound sand, you're refusing to play with them. For my intrusive thoughts, I have to make myself not care about the thoughts. So again, in your shoes, I'd have to cop the 'tude that 'I'm the victim not the perp and I don't care if I'm disgusting because I'm not so there, end of story' And keep at it until it started to sink in. You have to out-stubborn these thoughts over time. Now, will that really help? I don't know, but it's the best thing I can think of, if I were you.

Re: UPDATES!! by Snaga on Wed Nov 23, 2022 4:20 am
Always happy to see a good update from someone! <3

Re: Wish I could overcome my shame (trigger warning) by Snaga on Thu Nov 17, 2022 1:34 am
I work and sleep and that's about it until the weekends and not quite always then i'm told, so... yeah. Of course you're not adding to my stress no worries there, I just dont have time or neurons during the week to do much in forums.

Re: Wish I could overcome my shame (trigger warning) by Chels91 on Tue Nov 15, 2022 3:52 am
In that case, it sounds like you have enough on your mind already. I’d hate to add to your stress. Thank you for your input though. You’re always a great help.

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