I am very frustrated and hope you guys can help. I have been in a relationship with an HDP for about 3-4 months. For the last 6 weeks or so she has been flirting with a doctor on the hospital floor we both work on. He flirts back and is a little relentless about it. She denies anything is going on between them but I can't help but think there is. Here's the kicker....He is married and so is she! I know this doesn't say much for me but she pulled me in with stories of how her husband pays no attention to her and how lonely she is at home. I have to watch them circle each other, make eyes and flirt with each other at work almost every day and I hate it!! Any thoughts or help?

Sometimes the sex can be done to keep up a lie that either party even wanted the sex at that point.
Yes if the sex life needs improving then the couple could seek support but sometimes it would be wiser to do other things of interest to the couple.

Yesterday mom and I woke up with intentions of going down to the historic district and bumming around at the shops and having coffee, but she woke up with a huge toothache that was hurting her whole head. After some calls to the dentist, I had to drive her back home so she could go to her dentist for an emergency appointment. Good thing we got her up there... they removed a dental bridge in her mouth and ended up having to pull 2 teeth that had decayed under the bridge. This weekend is a holiday weekend, so had we not have gotten her back home, she'd have had to wait till next Tues or Wed to see the dentist. She was upset at having to go back home, but I reassured her that she could come back down... think Dad was most glad to have her back... he seems to not be able to function without her. She was only gone 4 days and he'd piled up dishes and laundry (he comes from that generation where the man earns the money and the wife takes care of the home...which makes for a messy house when she leaves...lol).

So I had 4 hours in the car to do nothing other than turn up the music, puff on some ciggies (my last vice) and try not to think (yeah, try THAT one!). LW- in your blog post you made a reference about me being the driver in control of my emotional car... which is TOO ironic. Yesterday as I drove I found my thoughts drifting to the boyfriend and how he's not here with me and all that we were supposed to be doing together now that he's back from Iraq. At first I was kind of yelling at myself to knock it off, then I decided to just let the feelings come out... no better time to shed a few tears and buck up than on a long drive. So I was feeling lonely yesterday. It wasn't depression... I guess it was just, for lack of a better word, "wistful." I'm ok with being alone and my direction in life, but I still do miss him. Missing him is ok... can't just wall off my heart because that's not healthy. Just wish that missing him didn't make my heart ache. Feel very helpless that I can't help him get through his PTSD, but the reality is that there's not a dang thing I can do.

Grrrr. So today I'm kinda ho-hum. Not sad, not happy... just a bit of ho-hum.

They liked me up to 5 or 6 years old then through me away.
.
I then had to not only spend my time around those that abandon me; I had to spend it around people that abandon children .
.
When I was young; with the house I lived in; I had a place to go while I was being neglected or abandon; especially abandonment; their was enough food; only because my father was present and because we were little kids. You are not going to show the neighbors your a sociopath or psychopath based on neglect of children; not smart psychopaths; they have a reason to hide and make everything look innocent and smooth.
.
When the house and neighborhood were gone and the parents were gone; I had nothing; I did not have anywhere to go; and my back was up against a wall; and I was a child... So; I went into a state of pTSD.
.
Ive been falling for a long time from the abandonment as a child; I was a little child, and being thrown away at the same time and the rug being pulled out from under me from the beginning but never knew; I was 2 young; and nothing can be done about that; I can get mad about it all I want and frustrated; but I never have a chance; not as a child; never; sure; I wish I had known that; then I could have prepared for a long journey to escape as a child; but I never knew. I know now. I would have killed myself to escape.
.
Ive been falling for a long time; the idea is to land and then get up on my feet and start over; or start for the first time.
.
The idea is to land on my feet; stablize and start... And thats where Im headed; its like saying; Im getting over the past and starting; I stop falling and falling and finally land and stabilize. And thats whats happening... slowly; the stabliziation process is what Im looking for; its been happening but Im also falling still; Im still falling but Im at the end of that fall because the rest of me is stabilizing ito the present; so its a combination of both. The inner me is still falling; the rest of me or part of me has allayed hit and is getting up; and another part of me has been up and stabilized for a few moments of time. Its as if Im like a stretch machine. Im not one moment in time; Im many moments of a long period of time. Some of me has landed in this time period; some time periods have not come yet; and part of me is in those time periods showing up; and others are far off. The key is; part of me has landed and stabilized; another part is waiting to land and another part is still falling; free falling; a much younger part of me.
.
.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
.
Im doing better; but not quite present enough; A young women walked up to me; I know her; I said hi; she said hi; I was nervous; like a little boy; she was intimidating because I wanted to have sex with her and every opportunity is an opportunity; but because thats more important then my own mind; I was not in control of my own mind. Im better; a bit more confident; but cant ask for what I want yet; not that much confidence. I stood my own ground with her kind of; I was tung tide a bit; I asked her a few questions and then it was over with; the conversation because I was shy and insecure around girls; meaning women; but I call them all girls. She stopped the conversation and told me to have a good day; but I stopped the conversation at the same time and told her to have a good day; so; Im getting a bit stronger; Im not able to tell her what I want; or express any manliness and take over the conversation and sweep her off her feet and really get her to engage in conversation with me; act like I really care because I dont; Im only thinking from a lower point of sex and fun in the sunshine. But Im to bashful to show that side and it is really really scary to work on this in front of a girl. ITs really hard to believe I deserve this; but its a part of life I have to learn to master. I could have asked her to coffee; but I would...

[ Continued ]

I have anxiety disorder; this means a horrible view of myself and terror and fear when dealing with people close up; especially someone that could have meaning in my life! its a horrible chance taking!
.
I have to get good at social stuff; especially with attractive women! I have to! I will get good at it; my wife will be among them; I have to learn how to reach out to them; toward them beyond my dissociative disorder and beyond my anxiety disorders!
.
I cant express the horrible fear and loathing and nightmarish fear of rejection of others; they are in control; they seem in control as I go them!
.
Not meeting the right people; this has to change! I have to work through this and meet the right people!