I'm hoping to reach out to someone suffering from OCD - Pure Obsession/Intrusive thoughts. You are not alone and help is available. My problems began at an early age. Example: I would drop something and have to pick it up out of fear that something bad would happen to a loved one. At the age of 18, I was triggered into thinking that I somehow managed to contract HIV. The thoughts were constant and my brain wasn't able to dismiss the random thought and fear that came along with it. I began taking depression medicine and it helped me to completely ignore the thought and know that I was okay. At the age of 22, while pregnant, I had to stop all medications cold turkey. Not long after the same thoughts came rushing back. "What if I have HIV?" So I was tested and the results were negative. Then my new obsession began... "What if my husband isn't the father of my baby? What if I slept with someone and didn't remember?" I spent days in bed crying, not eating, stressed to the point that I hated waking up and sleeping was my only escape. It was rare that I could get a good night's rest. I stayed in a constant panic. I replayed thoughts in my head for more than 10 hours a day. I begged for a prenatal DNA test and the results proved that my husband was the father. I'm sure you already know what's next, I found a new obsession. I feared I would die during child labor. I constantly searched statistics, asked my doctor for an elective c-section, called him over the weekend to make sure that I would be okay. When my child was born I was so happy until the next obsession kicked in... "What if I hurt my child? What if she's crying and I lose it?" That was the last straw. I made an appointment to be put back on medications and I've gotten better. OCD is not fun and I don't think others quite understand the severity of this condition. Just know that there are ways to alleviate the stress and feel like a normal human being.