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snailgirl
Consumer 5
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Attempting to make sense.
   Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:39 pm

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Attempting to make sense.

Permanent Linkby snailgirl on Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:39 pm

Ok I will try to write down what I know of my system today. Here are the alters who frequent right now:

- Sini, who is 3. She very recently (just this week) started communicating to me. Speaks in extremely short sentences due to pressure to speak right. Fears the dark and too big adults. Plays really sad songs and rings my right ear. No idea if she ever fronted.
- Miina, who is 5, but getting ready to grow bigger. Used to annoy others by commenting stuff like "you eat eggs" but is maturing quick and learning she can help other child alters in her own and other systems too. Possibly was Main Front once, until school age.
- Elli, 8, has mostly integrated into Minttu.
- Meri, 10, has never been Main Front. She took upon herself the single memory of being hit by a car, including the pain of it. She is currently legless and in a wheelchair.
- Meri's Thundercloud is Meri's forbidden anger over what happened to her. Thunders, rains and makes noise above a Safe Field as Meri watches and thinks of it, occasionally digging out a toy lightning bolt and throwing it.
- Minttu, 11. I think she almost certainly has been a main front.
- a 14 year old integrated very quickly after I found her
- Nora, 18. Wants to grow bigger after coming to terms with her past, but she has a difficult future, too. Fronted at different times - first 16-18, then 26-29.
- somebody, supposedly 20-ish but really a child somehow. A sad old main front who had no idea why she was so weird and low functioning and didn't get along with people. Burnt out and went to hide. Surfaced for a little moment last night.
- Adult, born at age 29 to lead the group to safety. First she did it in denial of the other parts, but when it finally was safe enough the other parts made themselves known to her.
- Hate
- Old Wise Vole, helper of children, recently surfaced
- World's Strongest Girl, a protector inside. Ready to fight for our life but normally just fights for our laughter. Has certainly been here when we were 5, possibly earlier.
- Angry Mom Voice, appears rarely, don't know much about her really. Mostly she calls the littles lazy or makes them feel worse for crying.

I feel two new ones coming, one I call Bother and he laughs in my face so that I am wet with his spit. Another is something like "I Hit" and she hits Bother. This is problematic and I do not currently communicate with either of them.

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