I'm starting to become attracted to someone..

Every time i see them i feel really peaceful and warm..

as usually happens with me, they're completely out of reach..

At least this one isn't carrying around an axe or something though.. my record with partners isn't exactly amazing and that's why i've been single for the last 2 years now.

Possibly more than 2 years by now actually.. *brief mental math break*.. = yep - i've actually been single for 2 and a half years now.

Oh well.. this is pleasant even if it's not realistic.


I've also been thinking about something that i wrote in an earlier blog post recently.. i wrote about how i constantly try and suppress all the stims and just fit in with all the non aspies..

lately i've noticed that i'm not trying to suppress anymore.. clearly that blog post did something for me because i've been walking down the road peacefully doing a stim with my left hand..
It's unobtrusive so i don't think anyones noticed but feels relaxing and it seems to be keeping me more grounded than usual.. i have a tendency to become a bit spaced out when i'm stressed but i'm finding that with the stim, that's not happening as much..
And, really..? Right now, in the world.. people are starting to adjust and become flexible in their ideas of what's ''normal'' and what isn't.. i've seen people do incredibly odd things and i've heard people say incredibly odd things.. it hasn't changed my opinion of them because i see the whole of a person.. one little quirk is more endearing than anything else..

if anyone changes their opinion of me because i have some little quirks.. that's sad but meh.. i'll cope.

Weird.. i stopped doing these things because i was bullied so badly for not fitting in as a child.. it's taken me this long to finally open my eyes and accept that i just don't fit.. and that's okay xx